Peak Performance - from the coach's desk

Check out The Summit Blog

2008-03-31T06:18:00.004-04:00

In case you've been mourning the lack of new posts on this Peak Performance blog, no worries. I'm still here, posting most weekdays at The Summit Blog, our new company blogsite. You'll find tips and war stories, observations and the occasional book review there. You can even sign up for an email subscription in case you don't want to go on the web to read the posts.

Thanks for following this blog. I'll be keeping the archives open so you can still search the blog for a post on a topic that interests you.

Achieve better results by setting specific goals

2008-03-27T05:26:00.004-04:00

It's that time of year when the mantra becomes "get in shape for Summer." Well, what in the heck does "get in shape" mean? I have a colleague that says, "I'm in shape - a sphere is a shape!" Even if you've not joined in the mantra, there are lessons to be learned in this example on making goals specific to increase the chances that you'll achieve them. So bear with me.

Goals defined by specific results

What's your definition of "in shape"? Is it a certain number of pounds or a certain percentage of body fat? Is it the ability to walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the mail without being out of breath? Unless you define it in specific terms you won't know whether it's achieveable and you won't be able to measure it. So you won't ever really be able to experience the thrill of victory associated with achieving it.

Here are some examples of "get in shape" specific goals as defined by results:

Weigh 130 healthy pounds by 5/31/08.
Bench press 200 pounds by 10/1/08.
Finish a half-marathon by November 30, 2008.

Goals defined by specific activities

Sometimes you don't know what the specific results are going to be, or you know that the results are so long-term that they won't keep you on track right now. So you set a goal around the activities that you expect will get you the results you want. Activity goals in and of themselves aren't necessarily the best goals - you can be busy and still going nowhere, and they need to be evaluated regularly to see whether they are indeed getting you closer to your goals. But when you've linked them to the ultimate result and you're checking them regularly against the RBG (really big goal) they can do the job well for you. Here are some examples:

Work out at the gym for at least 1 hour 3 days per week starting 3/26/08.
Drink 8 glasses of water per day starting 3/31/08.
Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day starting 3/26/08.
Schedule my free fitness assessment at the health club on or before 4/30/08.

You'll notice that the activity goals (with the exception of the last one) have no finish lines - they have only start dates. If you want to build your confidence (and your accountability) you might want to consider setting them for a month at a time. Or if you expect that they are going to be relatively difficult adaptations in behavior for you to establish, set them a week at a time. You get to define what short term and long term goal timeframes are. Match them to your level of motivation and the degree of difficulty of the goal for you.

The Theory of Multiple Intelligences

2008-03-26T05:07:00.003-04:00

Good news if you've been disappointed by your results on a traditional IQ (Intelligence Quotient) test: according to the Theory of Multiple Intelligences the test that you took doesn't adequately represent how intelligent you are. Psychologist Howard Gardner theorizes that there are multiple ways in which to be intelligent.

In the multiple intelligences paradigm every individual is a unique combination of

Linguistic - ability with words, reading, writing, memorization of dates
Math - reasoning, abstract pattern recognition, scientific thinking, ability to do complex calculations
Music - sensitivity to music, sounds, often absolute pitch, respond well to aural modes of learning like lecture
Spatial - good at visualizing and manipulating objects, may also have a good sense of direction
Kinesthetic - ability with movement and doing, such as dancing and athletics, often good muscle memory and learns best by doing
Interpersonal - ability to communicate with others, extroverts sensitive to others' moods, work well in groups and enjoy discussion and debate
Intrapersonal - process information best alone, self-aware, often an affinity for thought-based pursuits
Naturalistic - the newest (1996) and still under debate - the ability to identify species, nurture and grow things, to see one's place in nature

Educators and trainers have considered the application of multiple intelligences theory in the design of learning methods. For example:

teaching children mathematic concepts or spelling via rhythm
teaching history by involving teens in a debate to defend or dispute the perspectives of the colonists vs. the British prior to the American Revolution
playing music in the background during work sessions
learning counting by manipulating objects such as sticks or blocks

If you feel like you're not getting through to someone, consider whether you're framing your message in a manner consistent with their intelligence type. If they're kinesthetic show them and have them practice physically doing something. If they're musical or interpersonal talk with them. You get the idea.

Helping your team develop fresh ideas

2008-03-25T05:20:00.003-04:00

Are your staff meetings sounding like the same-old, same-old? Is the group retreading over the same solutions for the same problems? If you want to shake things up a bit, here are some quick ideas for helping your team develop fresh ideas:

Form a book club. Choose a relevant text and incorporate a discussion of one chapter into each staff meeting until you're all the way through it.
Take a field trip. Go see a competitor's operation, or a noncompetitor in a similar industry. Or for that matter, visit a business that's barely like yours at all. You'll still find some transferable ideas, and if they come from a completely new frame of reference they're likely to freshen things up for you.
Go to a conference. See what's new and have the opportunity to network with other businesses to find out what's working for them.
Join a customer's trade association. If you really want to develop customer loyalty you can do so best by standing in their shoes. Find out what their issues are and you can better develop solutions for them. And you might meet some other potential customers in the process...
Bring in a guest speaker. Find an authority on the subject of concern and pick their brain. (That concept looks kind of creepy in print - maybe I need a new metaphor!)
Scour the blogs. If you're reading this you already are checking out the blogosphere, but try the blog carnivals if you want a lot of content on a particular subject.
Send your team home to play with their kids. Believe it or not, when I was a kid my dad developed a patent for the cold extrusion of metal by playing with my brother and me and our Play-Doh Fun Factory! Kids use different tools, and they're not restricted by the same number of assumptions as adults are.
Rock the boat. Change something. Rearrange the desks so people work adjacent to somebody new. Be open to the concept of discomfort and a bit of storming. It's said that if the boat isn't rocking it probably isn't moving forward, either.

Christian spiritual practice - the prayer labyrinth

2008-03-20T06:27:00.003-04:00

Today is Maundy Thursday, in Christian practice the commemoration of the day that Christ had his last supper with his disciples, then was betrayed by Judas. It was the day that put the wheels in motion toward his arrest and crucifixion. While Easter celebrates the eternal life available to believers through Christ's rising from the dead, Maundy Thursday and Good Friday convey the enormity of the sacrifice he made on behalf of mankind.

For Christians this is a time of contemplation, and currently some Christian churches are rediscovering the process of the prayer labyrinth.

Wikipedia says that "the Prayer Labyrinth was adopted by the Church across Europe during the medieval times, being often used as a means to meditate, pray and connect with God in a higher spiritual way. Numerous cathedrals in Europe have prayer labytinths embedded into their floors, with the Cathedral of Chartres (Notre-Dame de Chartres Cathedral), located about 80 km from Paris having one of the most famous prayer labyrinths in the world. Prayer Labyrinths were often viewed and modeled as a journey to Jerusalem and were even called Chemin de Jerusalem (Road of Jerusalem) serving as a spiritual pilgrimage for those who could not afford to travel to Jerusalem, the center of the world."

The practitioner enters the path, sometimes assisted by music or guided reading. They move at their own pace and are invited to stop along the path of the labyrinth to pray and meditate. Unlike a maze, which is designed to confound an entrant, the labyrinth has only one path to follow. The end of the labyrinth is visible and the practitioner will reach it if he or she follows the path.

Modern Christian churches that are rediscovering the prayer labyrinth are often doing so in the context of the Lenten season leading up to Good Friday and Easter, when Christians are focused on seeking reconciliation with God. If you are interested in finding a labyrinth, click here for a locator.

Book Wish List - Six-Word Memoirs

2008-03-19T04:59:00.005-04:00

I was listening to Jean Chatzky on XM 156 yesterday where they were talking about summing up your life in six words. A new book on the topic called Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure, edited by Smith Magazine, was just released February 5.

Here's the premise - choose six words that could explain your life or be used on an epitaph. I used the idea as an ice breaker with a development group the other day and it was quite fun. Here are some examples:

When I'm gray I'll go red (that was Jean Chatzky's)
Two young kids, no free time (that's mine)

From the book:

Seventy years, few tears, hairy ears - Bill Querengesser
Extremely responsible, secretly longed for spontaneity - Sabra Jennings
Painful nerd kid, happy nerd adult - Linda Williamson
I'm my mother and I'm fine - K. Bertrand
Grumpy old soundman needs love, too - Lenny Rosengard
Joined army. Came out. Got booted. - Johan Baumeister

This isn't just a fun activity. Challenge yourself to be profound, witty, topical, provocative, spiritual, intellectual, etc. Who knows - you might find your genius in there!

Doing isn't necessarily the best thing

2008-03-18T05:16:00.003-04:00

This week is really hectic (thus no post yesterday) for me, and although that's a good thing - business is great! - the constant motion can interfere with productivity. Yes, I said that constantly doing isn't necessarily the best thing.

When you're subject to a wild schedule, and a lot of times your obligations involve commitments to other people, it's easy to slip into reaction mode. The times when you're busiest are the times when you're most likely to fall into autopilot mode. You're more likely to be operating based upon habits of thought and behavior, some of which might not be the best thoughts and actions for this particular time or situation.

Hit the pause button
Stop before you act and hit the pause button. Instead of taking the first action that comes to your mind stop and evaluate the other options and the risks and/or opportunities associated with them. If you can, confer with someone to gain a fresh perspective.

Take a five-minute vacation
No matter how busy you are today take some time (even 5 minutes) to stop and find a quiet space and clear your mind. Focus on your breathing, focus on the sensations of aliveness in your fingers, toes, arms and legs. Let the world melt away and just BE. If you're too tense to just BE, start from the top of your body and work your way down to your feet and tighten your muscles, then release. It'll help you relax.

Change the scenery
Physically change something - your position in your chair, the room you're in, walk outside. Fresh stimulus lends fresh ideas. Or the reverse of that, if you're having a "senior moment" because of all of the mental clutter return to the spot you were in when you had the idea and it will likely return to you.

Make an appointment to recuperate
You can't drive your car endlessly without refueling and changing the oil, so why treat your body any differently? Go home a couple of minutes earlier than you were originally planning. Play relaxing music. Eat a nutritious meal. Go to bed early to build your physical resources for the next challenge.

Engaging your "assistant buyer" mentality

2008-03-14T05:28:00.002-04:00

Once you're "at bat" with a potential customer one of the biggest potential landmines in the interaction is when you apply pressure, whether it's intentional or unintentional. When a prospect feels pressure they're likely not to buy, but rather to back away or stall. When you've got looming quotas or when the bank account is looking a little bit scant it's hard not to transfer your own sense of urgency into the transaction. But the solution is in engaging an "assistant buyer" mentality.

The world of traditional sales has certain characteristics:

An attitude of "I've got the answer that everybody needs, if only they were smart enough to see it."
If I just spew enough information the prospect will see how great my product is.
If I've got a good spiel (presentation) I'll be effective.
If I've got good enough brochures and other collateral materials I won't have to work too hard.
My mastery of tricky manipulation and closing techniques will convince prospects to buy even if they don't need my product. And if they don't really need it I don't care as long as I'm moving units.

This adds up to an "I win, you lose when you give me your money" sort of dynamic. Sometimes it might work for THIS sale. But it's unlikely to develop the sort of accurate match between prospect and product and the kind of rapport between customer and salesperson that will create customer loyalty. If you resort to the old arm-wrestling model of sales you might have OK results in the short run, but you won't be maximizing the potential lifetime value of this customer relationship.

The assistant buyer mentality has these characteristics:

I'm not going to assume you need what I have. I'm going to take the time to find out about what's going on in your business, what your goals are and how critical they are to achieve. I'm going to find out what's currently blocking you from achieving them. THEN I'll see whether what I've got will fill the bill to overcome some of those obstacles you're facing.
I'm working on building a longer-term relationship of mutual respect with you and I'm keeping your best interests in mind. This means that even if you don't buy from me now you might in the future when the situation is a better match. If I do a good job this also means that you might refer other prospective customers to me.
I'm asking questions about budgets, decision making process and timing so that I'm talking to the right person and not wasting anybody's time.
I recognize that just as I have a selling process you have a buying process, and I'm going to be intentional about helping you buy in the manner that's most comfortable for you. That way you won't question or regret your decision tomorrow.
I'll match your pace. If you're in a hurry I'll be quick and responsive in my follow-up. If you're not looking to do anything for 3 months I'll be in touch within that time frame, but not every five minutes (that's pressure.) I don't want to "beat you to the bank" and I don't want you to beat me, either.

So in summary - the extent to which you can place yourself in your buyer's shoes is the extent to which you'll enhance your chance at a long-term, positive relationship with them. You can become a trusted advisor - and that's good for everybody.

Book suggestion - Strategy and the Fat Smoker

2008-03-13T05:33:00.005-04:00

I just started my latest book adventure, called Strategy and the Fat Smoker - Doing What's Obvious But Not Easy, by David Maister. Maister is also the author of the best selling Managing the Professional Service Firm.

I must admit that I love the title of this book. One look and I completely get the premise - we all know what to do, we all know whether we're fat or not or whether we're in need of change or not. The difference among us is some of us simply don't want it enough to do what's necessary to do something about it!

Here are what Maister calls "some of the few things we know about persuading people to change before the heart attack comes":

It's about a permanent change in lifestyle - we underestimate how much effort is truly required to bring about significant improvement.
You must change the scorecards - strategy must be publicly tracked, measured and monitored.
Leadership: get serious or get out of the way - perhaps the single biggest difficulty in getting an organization's members to stick to the diet is convincing them that top management really wants them to.
Principles are more effective than tactics - strategies in business, like diets and alcohol recovery, are implemented much more effectively when the ideas are presented as matters of principle, not just as matters of expediency.
People must volunteer - the motivation must be intrinsic, because the essence of successful strategic change is not technique, but will. It's successful only when the individual chooses to do it for himself, not for someone else.
People must get on or off the bus - while every individual can, and must, make an individual choice the organization must decide how to respond to those individual choices. You may need to protect those who have chosen to participate by ridding the firm of those who refuse to come on board.

Maister is coming from the same philosophical place that I do, and that's part of why I like this book. I mean let's get real about this. Secondly, his writing style is no-nonsense and accessble. You won't have to slog through ten-inch paragraphs and hyper-intellectual style to get the message. Check it out.

How NOT to tell an employee that you're letting them go

2008-03-12T05:26:00.004-04:00

I caught up with a former colleague the other day and heard the story of how he got into the great role he has right now. The ending was sweet, but the story of how he got there was appalling. So - unless they've committed a crime of some sort - here is a list of how NOT to tell an employee that you're letting them go:

Send a companywide email with posting opportunities on it and include their job on the list of available positions.
Unpack their personal items from their desk when they're out of the office and leave the box of items handily waiting for them on top of the desk for when they arrive the next day.
Send a singing telegram. The song will help to ease the blow.
Call their mother and let their mother tell them the bad news.
Assign two security guards to meet them at the front door, escort them to their office and monitor the packing of their office before the guards collect their key and escort them back out the door. Oh, and make plenty of noise so EVERYONE in the department can have the opportunity to know what's going on.
Tell them the afternoon before they leave on vacation. That way they won't have to worry about coming back in when vacation is over.
Tell them the day before the Christmas/New Year holiday. If you time it right everybody's tax information will be really clean, with no untidy paychecks extending into the next year.
Send them an email.
Call them when they're at the hospital recovering from major surgery. Otherwise they'll send your health care costs through the roof!
Tell them right before they have a baby. Their joy at the new family addition will distract them from the fact that they will have no income.
Tell the office gossip and they'll pass the information along.
Save the unemployment compensation. Don't fire them - simply make the working conditions intolerable enough that they'll choose to quit!

The game face and the paradigm of threat

2008-03-11T05:35:00.004-04:00

To what extent are you aware that you put on a facade or "game face" rather than reveal the person that you really are? The game face generally isn't used when you're feeling confident and upbeat. You put it on when you're feeling a bit uncertain, fearful, or sad and you don't want anyone to know it.

We all operate from our own frames of reference about relationships with other people, whether business or personal. Some of us come from the assumptions that the world is generally a safe place, people are generally nice, and that it's OK to be whoever we are.

Others of us come from the paradigm that the world is threatening, people are generally out to get us and that we need to prevent them from having the opportunity to do so. When we're coming with this attitude we make assumptions like:

You can tell they're lying because they're moving their mouth.
They'll take advantage of any sign of weakness to overpower me or make me look bad.
Everybody else is more competent than me and I hope nobody figures that out.

That defensive position creates behavior like:

Hoarding resources or information.
Avoidance of other people.
Calling attention to other people's flaws in an attempt to distract attention from one's own.
Taking a proactive attack position to be able to make the first strike rather than feel vulnerable.
Spreading misinformation (gossip.)
Collecting a cadre of allies for the purpose of defending against or attacking a threat.

Let's say you operate under the paradigm of threat in certain situations. Just because you think they're against you doesn't mean they really are. Chances are pretty good that it's not even about you. What would happen if you would test your assumption that the world is out to get you?

If you decided to behave as though the setting and/or other people were not threatening in some way you might:

Share information freely.
Choose to interact with people even when you're not forced to.
Let people get to know you as a person, not just as a job description.

If you're in a situation where you are experiencing legitimate threat on a regular basis you might want to consider whether you would be better off somewhere else. The choice might not be easy, but you always have a choice.

Puppy training and lessons on leadership

2008-03-10T05:23:00.004-04:00

This is Boomerang - Boomer for short - our Aussiedoodle puppy. He's 4-1/2 months old, and my daughter and I have been taking him to puppy kindergarten to learn the basics: sit, lay down, loose leash walking, and the all-important leave it and drop it. Beside the basic puppy tricks I'm learning some valuable information on leadership that I think can apply to leading people as well.

With two children, two cats and now two dogs our goal in going to puppy class with Boomer is to keep our household chaos "down to a dull roar," as my mom used to say. I'll just brag right now and say that Boomerang is really smart. He learns fast, and I've also learned a lot from his training.

So here are some of the accumulated lessons on leadership I've learned from class, from the monks of New Skete, and from Cesar Milan - the Dog Whisperer. Some might appear to contradict one other, but I think they all have their places. Choose the ones that resonate with you.

You have to be clear about the fact that you lead the pack and that the dog is to follow you.
Catch good behavior the instant it happens and reward it if you want to see it again.
The practice expectation for "lay down" is 25 repetitions per day to get it ingrained. (I think "drop it" might take 250!)
It's about the relationship. There's a huge reward in a good rubdown and a "good boy." This means that you don't necessarily have to carry a stock of dog treats everywhere you go.
Some dogs will do anything for a treat.
Only use your dog's name with a happy, positive tone so they want to come to you when you say it. Find another word to get their attention when they're misbehaving.
If you need to take a valued toy or piece of contraband from the puppy give them something acceptable to replace it.
Dogs sense and react to the energy you exude. Be a calm assertive leader and they will be balanced followers.
If you want to train a puppy to stay with you, tether them to your belt on a rope for a good portion of a day, go about your business and have them follow you. They'll have to pay attention to where you're going and what you're doing.
Chasing a puppy doesn't work to get them to come to you. Hide from them and their curiousity will demand that they find you.

More rain and the impact of expectation

2008-03-07T06:06:00.003-05:00

"It looks like it's going to rain this weekend - again. More mud, more dreary skies, more umbrellas to house-train the puppy and more soggy towels from drying the dogs off after a quick out in the yard. More of my kids driving me nuts because they've got cabin fever from being cooped up in the house. On top of that, we've had rain instead of snow this year. The kids are disappointed because they haven't had a chance to use their sleds. What a sloppy mess!"

"Whine, whine, whine. Complain, complain, complain. What difference does it really make whether it rains or not? It's not like your house is in the middle of a flood zone!"

"Well, it will be about the third time I tried to have a play date for the puppy, and we keep getting rained out! My kids were expecting to have lacrosse practice! I was going to go shopping, but who wants to slog around in the pouring rain? It's going to be an awful weekend!"

What kind of a weekend is that person setting up in her mind because of her expectations? She's connected rain with all kinds of let-downs, from social, to housekeeping, to logistics. I guess it's good that it'll be raining because it'll be easier for her to go eat worms - they'll be right up at the surface laying on the road and the driveway!

There are so many dimensions to the concept of expectation - how much of them we build up in our minds, how they impact our behavior (the self-fulfilling prophecy,) how we can have some that are impossible to fulfill.

The situation here is that the rain is going to come, no matter how hard she struggles against it. So why struggle? When your expectation is around something that's beyond your ability to control or influence, struggling is a waste of energy. Instead of whining and complaining, ask yourself:

What can I do, despite these conditions?
Is there a benefit, maybe even hidden, in this situation?
Is it the situation itself, or my sullied expecations that have me so bent out of shape?
How can I get value out of this?

I'm not telling you to have no expectations. It's just that sometimes the rain is going to come no matter what you do or say, and you might as well make the best of it.

Your vision or satisfying customers?

2008-03-06T06:20:00.003-05:00

I watched the finale of Project Runway on Bravo last night. While I'm interested in the fashions that's not the point of the show for me. I look at the creativity and execution on the part of the designers, and in particular the balance they have to create between fulfilling their individual artistic vision and creating items that would satisfy customers.

Christopher, the designer who won - and congratulations to him for winning the infrastructure to launch his own line at the ripe old age of 21 - wasn't my favorite. He was creative, no question about it, but his work (almost costume-like) would speak only to a fairly narrow niche of fashionistas like Victoria Beckham, who was one of the three judges. Maybe that is exactly what he was trying to do.

Knowing where you stand on this is a key part of managing your product and/or service offerings. Do you care whether anyone buys your art? Does it matter to whether your book makes the Times best seller list? Are you thinking that you're serving a narrow target market with an exclusive offering, or are you looking to go more mass-market?

If you're producing and people aren't buying it, consider the extent to which you're seeking to satisfy yourself vs. satisfy them. If you're customer focused yet artistically (and I use the term loosely here) intent perhaps you could try to pull them along with you gradually until your full vision can be shared without alienating them.

If you don't need to sell that thing you're creating, or if you're willing to take that risk, who cares whether you're jarring people's sensibilities when you're introducing it? Sometimes people don't know that they need it or want it yet - you're leading the parade. I think of most things bearing the Apple brand when I talk about this. Now there's a whole Apple subculture that won't use anything else (no, Steve Jobs isn't paying me to say this.) In addition there are a whole bunch of followers who are trying to catch up in the innovation department.

A long time ago an artist acquaintance of mine said (and I paraphrase) "any creation starts to decay the moment it leaves your mind and you start to make it real." While I think that's a really pessimistic view of the creative process, there are decisions to make and compromises perhaps in the process of production so that your creation can have practical application. Your job is to know where your priorities are and where the "ideal" balance is for you.

It's not over until...

2008-03-05T05:34:00.002-05:00

If you're a relatively frequent reader of this blog you'll know that I follow politics to some degree, and this year's presidential race is particularly interesting.

John McCain will be challenging the notion that there's a maximum age at which we should look to someone for a significant contribution.
Hillary Clinton will be challenging the notion that a "girl" can't a) get elected, and b) be as effective at running our country as a boy can.
Barack Obama will be challenging the notion that the highest office in the land only belongs to older Caucasian males with white-bread sounding names.
Our country will be (I hope) challenging the notion that someone's effectiveness in this highest office and others in government are determined solely by whether the holder is a D or an R. Sure, there are some philosophical differences between the parties, but in today's world we don't have the luxury of dismissing ideas out of hand just because they come from the other side of the aisle.

Such a marathon for these candidates! McCain has been through this before, back in 2000 when he ran against George W. Bush. Even in this campaign in 2007 financing and some of his views, including those on immigration reform, almost ended this run. But he plugged on, and now will have an opportunity to be in the big show in November.

I think Hillary has looked a bit tired in the past few weeks, and who wouldn't with the kind of schedules the candidates have to run. But despite early reports of her demise she has plugged on, stumping in Ohio and Texas and keeping her campaign going. Yesterday's primary results demonstrated that her determination and unwillingness to declare it over paid off.

As for Barack, he's newer to this game, but even he, who seems to be a relative youngster and a rising star in the Democratic party, overcame a defeat in a campaign for the House in 2000 to be elected to the Senate in 2004.

I must admit that I'm happy that the Democratic race is not yet decided, because we Pennsylvanians have been concerned for a while that our primary falls so late in the cycle that our votes would not matter in who is selected for the most demanding job imaginable. For the Democratic presidential candidates it's not over.

So when is it really "over" for the rest of us? When we're too old, whatever age that is? When we've been defeated one too many times? When we've been publicly embarrassed? When we've made a mistake? When we've been passed over for a job opportunity or promotion? When we get our first wrinkles, gray hairs or bald spots? Perhaps when we are given a life-threatening diagnosis?

I think to a great degree it's over only when we lay down and declare that it's over. Politics demonstrates this to us again and again. Perhaps this round has been lost, but we have more opportunities ahead if we pick our heads up and see them and keep moving forward. Our biggest victories might still be ahead of us.

Are you afraid of the Leprechaun?

2008-03-04T05:35:00.002-05:00

The approach of St. Patrick's Day means I need to figure out what we're going to do about the Leprechaun. When my older daughter was in preschool the Leprechaun started to show up, moving furniture around in her classroom and spreading glitter in the hallway. Her teachers recommended that we set a Leprechaun trap in our house to see whether we could catch him when he visited us.

Lauren was obsessed with the Leprechaun, and not in the happy way she looked forward to Santa or the Easter Bunny (although she's never been big on having ANY strangers visit the house at night.) We rigged a trap with a Tupperware bowl and several gold-wrapped Rolo candies. And I'll be darned, the trap was sprung on St. Patrick's day, the dining room was a bit messed up - but we found no Leprechaun - go figure.

I don't know why the Leprechaun was so frightening. He was supposed to bring magic and fun along with just a little dose of mischief. But for years my daughter would say, "I hope the Leprechaun won't come!" We had to create high-tech Leprechaun repellent to keep him away from the house.

Now we have another preschooler, and so far the Leprechaun has stayed away. I'm not sure that he wants to open that can of worms of fear and dread again. It's a bit of a shame, because he brings whimsy and magic to St. Patrick's Day.

Are YOU afraid of the Leprechaun? Are you keeping him out of your house because you're not sure what he'll bring? What would happen if you would lure him in with some gold-wrapped chocolate or other such bait? Sure he might make things a little messy, but Leprechauns aren't malevolent creatures - they just want to have fun. And if you're open to it, you might have some fun too.

Mindlessness and stereotypes

2008-03-03T05:59:00.002-05:00

I've been writing for the last couple of posts about the work of Ellen Langer, Ph.D. of Harvard University. I'd like to spend a few moments on a third application of the concept of mindlessness - that of stereotypes that we apply to people. For example:

Wearing hiphop attire - must be a criminal
Wearing a suit - must be a manager
Certain color of skin - must be smart, stupid, poor, greedy, wealthy, overly emotional, an alcoholic, etc.
Over a certain age - must be old-fashioned and closed-minded
Under a certain age - must be stupid and impulsive

You get the idea, and you also know that the list is way longer than that. The point is this: it's less work for us to be mindless and make assumptions about what certain factors mean than it is for us to invest the time and energy to really get to know somebody. They might have the outward appearance of a thug and the heart of a poet once we have a chance to get acquainted. (Or they might look like a solid citizen, yet have the values of a criminal!)

Stereotypes aren't necessarily negative. My daughters were born in China, and I can't tell you how many times people have said things to me like, "You know THEY are all really smart," or "I've heard THEY'RE all good in math." I suppose it's better that they're benefiting in a way from a positive expectation because they'll attempt to rise to meet it. On the other hand, the expectations can be pretty daunting and lead to perfectionism, frustration, etc. if left unchallenged.

There's been recurring debate about whether racism, ageism, sexism, and all of the other-isms have waned as our society has become more aware of them. I think the answer to the question depends upon where you sit. We might have heightened our sensitivity, but at the same time we've heightened our desire for speed and efficiency. You can't just apply the principles of cycle time reduction on the process of really getting to know someone. So it's still tempting to break our legs jumping to conclusions about who or what somebody is based on limited information.

And the more experience we have at placing people into categories, however arbitrary, the bigger the risk that we won't take the time with someone in the future. I might be fairly open-minded about someone from a "category" that I've never experienced before, but I quickly begin racking up observations that I can apply to the next person who appears to fit the mold. The next person I meet might fall victim to my mindless pigeon-holing of them before they say even one word to me.

If your primary motivators are efficiency and self-protection, then you might be using stereotypes more than you realize. If, however, you shift your focus to opportunity and relationship building you have a shot at becoming more mindful and giving THIS person a real opportunity to know and be known by you.

Mindfulness and play

2008-02-29T05:44:00.003-05:00

I've been doing a bit of digging around about Ellen Langer of Harvard University and her study of mindfulness vs. mindlessness. Today I'd like to talk about work vs. play.

When your young child is at play they are in the moment - they are thinking in ways that enable a cardboard box to become a castle or a car and a towel to morph into a superhero's cape. This is mindfulness, where you're noticing the details and not missing the castle because it looks like an ordinary cardboard box. The following excerpt comes from a blog called Stay Free that talked about Langer's work:

Essentially, a mindful approach is like "play;" a mindless one, "work."
Work is what one does to reach a particular goal; play is focusing on the
process–the end is beside the point. To borrow Langer’s example, take golf
(please). Someone who enjoys golf putters around, tries out new techniques,
talks to people, plays. But say someone invents a miracle method for knocking
their handicap in half. The golfer learns this and cuts their handicap. Then
maybe they start using a miracle club for cutting it down half again. Then
there’s another discovery and so on until there’s no game. By focusing on the
end result, the golfer loses sight of the process and there’s no more game.
(full blog content here)

I think about times when my daughter wanted to sweep the kitchen floor. She wanted to feel the weight of the broom and see what it did to particles (and the ever-elusive pet hair) on the floor. She took her time and pushed the pile of accumulated dust around the room, scattering some of it around again in the process. But she was learning about sweeping. She was playing at sweeping.

I, on the other hand, am only interested in the result - having a clean floor. I pick up the broom, not really noticing how it feels. I'm only focused on the dirt and my desire to have it off the floor. I don't have to tell you that sweeping is NOT play - it's work in my mind. That's because I'm mindless of the process. I even generally sweep different parts of the room in the same sequence every time!

What would happen if you took some time this weekend and dedicated it to enjoying the process rather than focusing on the result? I know, I know, you've been at work all week and now your second full-time job comes into play. There are bills to pay, laundry to do, rooms to clean, cars to wash... Most of us get paid for results, not for process, so even on the weekends it's our habit.

But what would it do for your mind if you shoveled a design into the snow, or mowed one into the grass rather than only focusing on getting it done? Could it, just for a few moments, transform the task from work into play? How would it stretch you if you, just for fun, messed around with a cardboard box or a few pieces of scrap wood to see what you could make out of them?

We have the ability to create more. We have the ability to play more. It's partly a matter of making time so the result doesn't matter, just for now. Take some time this weekend to enjoy the process and not worry about the outcome. Then let me know how it went.

You won't mind if I cut in line...

2008-02-28T05:31:00.004-05:00

Imagine yourself in the midst of a huge job at a copy machine when someone approaches you and asks, "May I step in?" You have a lot to do, so you might feel a little bit resistant, and might even say "Wait your turn!" if you're not feeling particularly generous.

What if the same person approaches you and asks, "May I step in to make a copy? Because I'm on my way to meet with my boss and he'll be upset if he doesn't have his copy." According to Ellen J. Langer, social psychologist at Harvard University, giving a reason would greatly increase the odds that you'll willingly let the person in front of you in line.

Langer is a specialist in mindlessness, those things we do without even thinking about them. She conducted a study on how giving reasons for requests influenced people to comply without even thinking:

Experiment: Request + Reason
Harvard’s librarian shut down all but one of the photocopy machines in a busy wing of the library. This quickly resulted in a long line behind the single operating photocopy machine.

Over the course of several days, Langer had accomplices approach a person at the front of the line with a request to “cut” in line. The accomplice’s request was carefully worded in three different ways.

In the first situation, the accomplice said, “Excuse me, may I use the Xerox machine, because I’m late to class?” The form of this question, request with a reason, resulted in a 94% compliance rate.
In the second situation, an accomplice asked, “Excuse me, may I use the Xerox machine?”
The structure of this question, a request followed by no supporting reason, resulted in a much lower compliance rate of only 60%.
Langer added a third form of the request to the accomplice's repertoire: "Excuse me, may I use the Xerox machine, because I have to make some copies?" Although the reason for the request is rather lame it matches the pattern of a legitimate request. And the response from the target is automatic. In this condition, the accomplice was accommodated 93% of the time, just 1% less than with the legitimate request.

Isn't that amazing? 93% of the time people complied when given a reason - even when met with a goofy and obvious reason for the request!

This principle works in many venues:

Buy from us because we provide the most comprehensive set of services available.
Please lend me $50 because I need to buy a replacement pair of sneakers.
Please extend my report deadline because I had problems with my email.
May I cut in front of you, because my daughter is already inside the theater?

From the sender's perspective, your empathy will tell you that the person deserves a reason for your request, especially if it's a big one. From the psychologist's perspective, knowledge of the principles of mindlessness can help you become more persuasive at work and at home.

7 things to do when you've hit a brick wall

2008-02-27T09:38:00.002-05:00

I know you've had occasions when you've felt stuck - like you've hit a brick wall. Everyone does. Have no fear - here are some ideas to get you unstuck and back on track.

Call a friend. As long as you don't wallow in your misery you'll feel a little bit better after you've shared your burden.
Gather information. Perhaps there's something you don't know right now that could help you get around or over the wall, or help you drill right through it. Go online, or to the library, or to your local trade association.
Ask yourself what alternatives you have not yet considered. Many of us get into a groove in our problem solving, such that we don't see some of the available options.
Stretch your legs. Exercise helps to relieve stress, and the bimodal motion of your body helps the creative and logic sides of your brain work together.
Assemble a team. What's the old phrase - "Many hands make light work." If you have more than just you in your business take advantage of the aggregated brainpower you have assembled under your roof.
Write it down. The process of writing helps to clarify the situation and it also helps to dissipate negative emotions. Once you can get your arms around the sticking point it becomes easier to solve.
Keep moving. Try something - perhaps try anything, as long it's legal and ethical. If you allow your stuck-ness to paralyze you nothing will change. Even if you take the wrong action you'll feel better that you're taking some control over the situation. This is the time to test and then measure results. If you spend a lot of time debating solutions in theory rather than trying them on you might as well just sit there.

Individual accountability and customer "support"

2008-02-26T06:31:00.005-05:00

I'm at the end (I hope) of what has been 3-4 business days with messed up email. Talk about working with one or both hands tied behind your back! In the course of trying to get the problem resolved I've talked to two techs at Comcast, two techs at Earthlink, and my three personal techs (my husband, brother, and dad.)

What a world of difference between three of the paid techs and the other one! In this case the three were polite, helpful, understanding of my techno ignorance. The fourth tech (the first I talked to at Comcast,) however, spent the entire "support" call telling me how the issue was not his problem. I couldn't even get the full explanation out of my mouth before he was telling me I was wrong to call him and that I should go somewhere else to resolve it.

Please understand, I know I'm wrong a lot when it comes to these matters, but don't dismiss my issue before I even get it out of my mouth! Walk me through the process - show some sign of empathy for the fact that I'm experiencing business interruptus! It wasn't one of my proudest moments, but I got so exasperated with the guy that I said "I think you just don't want to deal with this" and hung up on him.

As it turned out the issue was mysterious, but we got it resolved with the second Comcast tech. Jonathan, wherever you are, you did a great job of staying cool, walking me through step by step, and trying things to rule out one problem or another. No arguments - real support. You took on the personal accountability to have a satisfied customer and solved problem by the time we were through.

Email for me is like a car - sometimes I take it for granted as I'm just cruising around in it, and then suddenly the thing stops running and I realize how much I've grown to count on it. Thank you to both of my Earthlink techs and to Jonathan at Comcast. You made my day.

What is your brand saying to people?

2008-02-25T05:51:00.005-05:00

Over the past few years article after article has been written about branding - from corporate to individual. This isn't just a vast echo chamber recirculating pre-chewed food (love that mixed metaphor!) We're all a little (or a lot) more entrepreneurial in these days of downsizing and outsourcing. We are more likely to be in the position to have to market ourselves, as privately-held businesses and/or individuals. What does your brand say to people?

This isn't a question about your marketing strategy. This is a question about your delivery in reality - because that's the word that really gets around no matter what your marketing says. Are you or your company known for...

Thoroughness
Speed
Done absolutely right the first time
Easy to do business with
Expensive for what you get
An outstanding value
Delivering quantifiable improvement in business results
Fun
Versatile
Rule-driven
On time, every time
Of the highest ethical standard
Catering to a narrow niche
Leading edge technologically
A connector to others
Dedicated to fulfill customer needs, both spoken and unspoken
Elegant packaging
Client comfort is number one

The letter or email that you're working on right now might just seem like a letter or email to you - but it's building perceptions about who you are and what's important to you. Even if you carefully engineer a marketing or advertising message there are multitudes of points of connection like this one where you'll either prove your message or disprove it. This is where your real brand is revealed.

Confessions of a techno-laggard

2008-02-22T06:21:00.002-05:00

Although among my colleagues I'm one of the very few who blog, I'm quite aware that my techological knowledge is a bit sluggish. I haven't Digged or Twittered yet, and I don't even have a MySpace page. (I will be doing a MySpace page so I can check up on my daughter and find out what she's saying about her parents!) I read about all of the daily developments, but frankly it takes too much time to separate the wheat from the chaff, and I don't even want to talk about my impatience with the ramp-up time on a new application.

Thank goodness my business doesn't rely on being leading-edge technologically, or that's what I've told myself. My function is to help people with a low-tech, high touch methodology. Not to mention that it makes meetings a lot easier when your biggest potential problems are dry markers and/or stained white boards...I tried laptop- and projector-based presentations and got burned with compatibility issues and surprise lowbat interruptions, you know the drill.

But yes, even I have succumbed to a certain degree. I wouldn't say that I'm addicted to my Blackberry but it is great with my in-and-out-of-the-office schedule to be able to stay in touch with what's going on via email as well as cell availability. My computer operates with Microsoft Vista - how au courant! And it is really fast. I also use Constant Contact to handle my nurture marketing - my monthly newsletter. How much simpler that process is with somebody keeping track of new subscribes and unsubscribes automatically for me! Not to mention that my incidence of paper cuts has dropped dramatically!

My current favorite techno-application is gotomeeting.com. I have some clients whose teams are geographically dispersed, so we work together mostly on the phone. Gotomeeting enables me to show them my computer screen so we can have visual as well as auditory communication. I can't see the reactions on their faces, but sometimes the process is more focused than live because we're all comfortable and in our own spaces.

I still have a link to a pdf converter application and some other cool tools that I haven't even touched - some of which I've had for months, maybe more than a year. I guess I'll let necessity be the mother of the technical upgrades - I'll check it out when I think I'm going to need to use it. In the meantime, I'll be here at my desk creeping into the 21st century.

You might be a bad boss

2008-02-21T05:55:00.003-05:00

A tip of the hat to Jeff Foxworthy for today's format...

If your expectations change with the shifts of the breeze...you might be a bad boss
If you assume that your staff can read your mind...you might be a bad boss
If you hover approximately 3 inches over your employees' shoulders to watch every move they make...you might be a bad boss
If you routinely turn your disorganization into their urgent projects...you might be a bad boss
If you cruise out of the office early chortling about your Wednesday afternoon golf league while your staff members are up to their eyeballs in paperwork...you might be a bad boss
If your face turns beet red, eyes bulge and your neck veins pop out while hollering at an employee in public...you might be a bad boss
If you say the company's about honesty and yet tell your assistant to lie that you're in a meeting in order to avoid a phone call...you might be a bad boss
If you take credit for your staff's good ideas but let them take the blame for the bad ones...you might be a bad boss
If you forget to do regular performance reviews or routinely do them late...you might be a bad boss
If you redistribute sales territories every time your salespeople start making decent commissions...you might be a bad boss
If you second-guess every decision your staffers make...you might be a bad boss
If you pass along senior management decisions with a shrug of the shoulders and "it wasn't MY idea,"...you might be a bad boss
If you can't remember the names of your direct reports' spouses, or even whether they're married or have kids...you might be a bad boss
If you let that slacker performer go along without doing anything about it...you might be a bad boss
If you promote people or give preferential projects to them because of how they look...you might be a bad boss

And last, if you read this whole list and didn't feel the teeniest bit of self-recognition...it's very possible that you might be a bad boss!

Getting your mind out of the way of attraction

2008-02-20T06:04:00.002-05:00

Law of Attraction sounds great, doesn't it? You focus your mind on something and all of a sudden - poof! There it is in front of you, the very thing you have been wishing for. But it isn't that simple. You and your habits of thought might be the biggest thing standing between you and that whatever you've been trying to attract.

Here's the deal: sometimes the thing you're trying to attract is a little hard to believe. It would be nice, but you don't have complete faith that it will happen. Perhaps you're unsure that you can really return to a size 6 dress or a 34 waist. You might be doubting that the good-looking, interesting partner that you want to attract wiIl be attracted to you. So instead of keeping your eye on the thing you want your focus turns to your current lack of it, or you're thinking, "I don't know if it's realistic to expect..."

You might not be allowing that which you want to come to you because the word "because" is interfering. "I can't return to a size 6 because overweight runs in my family," or "I can't get my Ph.D. because I'm too old."

I'm typically recommending positive self-talk to get past doubts, but in the case of attraction the belief factor is so important that we need to add some extra bells and whistles. The typical affirmation criteria are:

First person singular "I"
Present tense (as though you have it or are doing it consistently already)
Within your ability to believe
Related to your goals

That third bullet can be an elusive little stinker. Michael Losier, author of Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't recommends that when you're attracting you might want to tweak your affirmation to say something like:

I am in the process of ... ("I am in the process of attracting my ideal mate"), or
I have decided...("I have decided that I'm going for my Ph.D.")

If you even need more convincing so you can build your belief, gather some evidence. Has someone else achieved what you want to achieve? Have retirees built successful businesses before? Have singles met their ideal mate after age 40? Have other people already done what you want to do, or received what you want to receive?

Last, start noticing signs that attraction is at work. Perhaps you'll have a "chance encounter" with a business owner who just happens to be in the industry in which you want to attract a new job. A quarter you find on the sidewalk might be a sign of more money working its way toward you.

The thing you want to attract probably won't drop on your head in one fell swoop. It might reveal itself in opportunities that you need to take advantage of, or in people that you need to take the initiative to get to know. But keep your eyes open, because it's out there.

What to do when you're attracting what you don't want

2008-02-19T05:30:00.003-05:00

I suppose this is my year to investigate the Law of Attraction...the latest on book on my side table is Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't by Michael Losier. I'm sure you know people who seem to turn everything they touch into gold and others who seem to attract mud into their lives with regularity. In both cases the Law of Attraction is at work. Today's focus is on the person who seems to be attracting bad stuff.

Losier's premise is that the universe is matching our vibrations, and it doesn't recognize whether we're saying yes or no to that thing - it just recognizes the thing itself. "Don't send me another wacko boyfriend" is heard the same as "send me a wacko boyfriend." Next thing you know, your latest fix-up reveals himself to be operating a few cards short of a full deck.

If you want to attract more of what you want you need to define what you want. Sometimes this comes most easily by first creating a list of what you don't want - in specific terms. So you don't want a car that rattles, that's rusty, that's got fuel efficiency that might as well be shooting gasoline over your left shoulder, upholstery that burns your derriere on a hot day, etc. Now use that list as contrast for defining what you do want, and make a new list, crossing off the "don't want" items as you go. Perhaps you want it to be new, red, a hybrid, room to seat 4, plenty of trunk space, heated seats, etc. NOW you have defined what it really is that you want to attract.

It's not always an easy process to shift the "vibes" we're sending to positive ("what I want")ones. We're habituated to see the negatives, the exceptions, what's wrong around us. Giving attention causis attraction, so the more bad stuff we notice the closer we bring it to us. If you find yourself getting sucked into noticing what you don't want, try to shift your thoughts as quickly as you realize it to "Well then what DO I want?"

Losier talks about teaching yourself to notice when you see things that you want as you're going through your day . Perhaps you see displays of affection between two people, or a really nice house, or an ad for a tropical vacation. Maybe you drive past the lot where that red car is parked. It all adds to what he calls the "vibrational bubble" that surrounds you.

You'll know you're on the right track when you're feeling good, excited about what you're in the process of attracting. Positive feelings contribute energy and speed to attract what you want. If thinking about what you want to attract causes negative feelings because of doubt that you can have it, or from noticing your current lack of it you've got some more work to do. We'll talk tomorrow about overcoming the negative thinking that prevents attraction from happening.

Invigorate your life with a dream inventory

2008-02-15T05:44:00.005-05:00

Feeling the mid-winter blahs? Is every day the same-old, same-old? How about starting the process of re-invigorating your life by doing a dream inventory?

Grab a clean sheet of paper, or open a fresh document file on your computer. There are only a few ground rules when you do a dream inventory:

This is your list - spouses, parents, etc. and their approval are irrelevant

The sky's the limit - don't censor yourself because of lack of time, lack of money, etc.

Put a date next to your entries so as you look back on your list you'll be able to see "how you were when..."

No need to do paragraphs. This should be quick bulleted ideas. You don't need to commit yourself to doing any of them - remember, in a dream anything is possible. See whether you can come up with 25-50 dreams. Just in case you need some ideas to spur your thinking:

Where would you like to go?

Who would you like to meet?

What would you like to own?

What hobbies would you like to pursue?

What would you like to do for family, friends, church, community, etc.?

Was that easy for you to do, or not so much? Sometimes we spend so much time telling ourselves what we can't do that it's hard to open up to the possibilities. Add some more items to your list when you're relaxed and uninterrupted, on a different day or at a different time of day. Most of my clients find the process invigorating.

Your list might reveal more to you than just items. You might notice themes that will help you uncover your purpose or a shift that you want to see in the direction of your life. They'll show you what's important to you, whether it's family, or travel, or taking classes, or owning cool stuff.

When you've finished your list ( for now, anyway) go back and see whether there are any items on there that, if you chose to, you could do in the next 12-18 months. If you see some of those on there you might choose a couple and turn them into goals. Or not. It's completely up to you - after all, they're your dreams.

The placebo effect, the nocebo effect

2008-02-14T05:36:00.004-05:00

I've been enjoying the book The Biology of Belief: Unleashing The Power Of Consciousness, Matter And Miracles by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D. I've written about it before, but I'm continuing to digest some of the concepts, so I'm bouncing back to it today. The book discusses the biological power of the mind - how thoughts can help us do things like walk across hot coals without sustaining burns, and how sugar pills have performed as well as antidepressant medications when patients believed they were, in fact, being dosed with prescriptions for chronic depression.

The placebo effect (like the sugar pill) creates a belief system that supports health and healing. What this means for our health is that we can think our way into feeling energized, strong and vigorous. Remember the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? He believed that a little Windex was good for almost anything that ails you. Funny, yes. Absurd, yes. But how much more absurd than choosing to walk over hot coals to prove the power of the mind? Yet hundreds, perhaps thousands of people do that successfully every year.

Dr. Lipton's extensive biological and quantum physics explanations made a great case for me to prove the mechanics of why positive thinking works, why prayer works in healing.

On the flip side of things the nocebo effect (believing something is wrong will make something wrong) is equally powerful. Lipton cites a story of a man who was diagnosed with esophogeal cancer, which at the time was considered to be a disease close to 100% fatal. He died shortly after receiving the diagnosis. When they did an autopsy of the man they found that he had died WITH cancer but he had not died OF cancer. In fact there was almost no esophogeal cancer in him.

Henry Ford was known to say, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. " If you think you're sick or shy or uncoordinated you'll do the things that reinforce the belief. You'll notice little twinges and creaks and wheezes. You'll focus on the one little stupid thing you said yesterday, or choose to avoid challenging social situations. You'll say no when someone asks you to dance. But it's deeper than that. Lipton says the cells in your body will back up your thoughts by collaborating to prove what you say to yourself is true.

I'm not going into the technical medical explanations here, because I know only enough to be dangerous. But if you believe in the power of mind over matter and want some evidence to support your belief, check out this book. Fascinating stuff.

Why salespersons don't sell

2008-02-13T06:10:00.004-05:00

Many a sales manager or CEO has expressed frustration to me about the lack of adequate production coming from the sales staff. One or two, or maybe even the whole raft of them aren't meeting their numbers. And of course since top-line revenues are the economic engine for the company - everything else suffers as a result.

Some of the specific issues identified are:

Lack of actual sales activity - caught up in administrivia
Lack of prospecting activity
Order taking rather than relationship building
Inattentiveness to ongoing customers
Fear of asking for the business

At a big-picture level there are a number of potential causes for senior leadership to address:

Strategy - Does the sales team have a clear idea of who they should be approaching to forward the company's strategic plan?
Structure - Does the organizational structure support the types of activities being expected of the sales staff?
Process - Is there a standard process that the sales team is supposed to use, or is the current sales effort dependent upon personalities to move it forward?
Process - Does the current standard sales process work? Are people arm-wrestling with prospects or are they helping them buy?
People - Are the salespersons good matches for the prospects and sales methods the company is pursuing? Do they have natural ability, or do their skills need further development?
People - Is the sales staff focused under a goals program, or are they wandering around throwing spaghetti at the wall?
People - Are there underlying attitudes (habits of thought) that are interfering with the sales staff's willingness to get out there?

Your company might have a combination of these issues or only one or two. If you think your sales efforts are broken (or seriously injured) start with strategy, because that's the foundation for everything else. There are diagnostics and development processes available to help you with the people components, and professionals who can take you through a process redesign if you need one.

If you'd like a referral to a reliable practitioner to help you get your sales efforts back on track, here are two links to check out:

Each has access to hundreds of independent companies across the U.S. and abroad equipped to deal with strategic, people, and process issues for your organization.

Tips for effective conference calls

2008-02-12T05:39:00.000-05:00

If you're not on regular teleconferences now they are probably in your near future. But as efficient as they can be from a logistics perspective when you're on teleconference you're losing all of the nonverbal message (55% of an in-person communication.) As a consequence auditory interference plays a big role in whether your call is a blast or a bust.

Here are some tips to help you lead and/or participate more effectively in telephone meetings:

Allocate a specific time frame for the call and lead the meeting accordingly
Get to the phone just a few minutes early if you're calling in to a bridge line so you don't interrupt the meeting once it's in progress
Your best signal and least interference will come from using a land line in a quiet space with a corded headset - no speakerphones, please - they transmit static and environmental noise. I have two kids and two dogs in my home office. Trust me. I know whereof I speak!
If you're the meeting leader take attendance and jot the names down. Make some sort of tick mark each time the respective participants chime in. That way you can specifically call on the quiet folks to make sure they're providing input, and make sure the copious contributors don't unnecessarily dominate.
Set ground rules and expectations. If this is supposed to be one-way with questions later, say so. If you'll be doing round-robin solicitation for comments let your group know.
Use the mute button whenever you're not speaking. That way background noise (that includes coughing fits and drinking coffee) won't interfere with the meeting. If your headset doesn't have a mute button use the *6 and *7 to take you on and off of mute.
Whenever possible all meeting participants should be on the conference from their own spaces. Otherwise there will be some people carrying on their own nonverbal sidebar meetings while the conference call is going on. You'll create an "in" crowd and an "out" crowd if you allow this to happen.
Identify yourself when you start to talk if you're not the meeting leader.
Provide visuals if you can. Check out GoToMeeting.com to get a 30-day free trial of a service where your participants can see your computer screen. Or email a packet of materials in advance.
Even if you're a lone eagle without a sophisticated phone system you can check online about getting a free bridge line so your participants can all call in to a central unmber. With this arrangement they'll all have toll charges. Or if you plan to conference a lot and don't want them to have to pay you can subscribe to a bridge line that's toll-free to your callers. Check out FreeConference.com or InstantConference.com, or other sites for more information.

Being in the place of greatest opportunity

2008-02-11T06:11:00.000-05:00

One of the challenges associated with continuous self-improvement is that many of the concepts are simple, yet the consistent application of them is hard to do. So occasionally I find myself writing about concepts that might seem obvious - the challenge for all of us is that they're hiding in plain sight. This is one of those topics - being in the place of greatest opportunity.

A longtime friend and colleague of mine has a saying, "If you're in the orange juice business you'd better have some oranges!" He works with a lot of salespersons who are trying to boost their results, and for many of them the biggest hurdle is at the very beginning of the process - to provide themselves enough sales at-bats to increase the likelihood that they'll at least get a base hit.

My friend is telling his salesperson clients that if you want to sell you need to be out where the prospective customers are - in the place of greatest opportunity. If your customers are CEOs, then figure out where the CEOs hang out and go there. If your prospective clients are women from dual income-no kids households, then be where they are so you can meet them.

This concept has way more than a sales application. If you want to take beautiful landscape photos, go to where the beautiful landscapes are. The place of greatest opportunity might not be in a crowded highrise unless your idea of a beautiful landscape is an urban canyon. If you want to meet eligible single men who have graduate degrees you'll probably find more of them at a university or researching in a library than you will outside a preschool.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to putting yourself in the place of greatest opportunity is that you might not know the opportunity that you seek. The Cheshire Cat told Alice in Wonderland that "if you don't know where you're going any road will take you there." If you aren't sure what "it" is how can you put yourself in the position to find it?

If you have been drifting and haven't happened upon it, whatever "it" is, perhaps some more complete definition will help. What is it, specifically, that you're looking for?

If you are looking for a client, in what industry will they work?
What will be the issues that they'll have, to which you'll have the ideal solution?
Who will be the decisionmaker that can choose to work with you?
What will be their level of financial resources, and of their buying volume?

The law of attraction says that as you define more and more clearly what you want you'll start to attract it to you. It won't come slamming into you as you stand still on a street corner - you'll have to take some action. But once you define it more distinctly you'll be more able to determine what those places of greatest opportunity are for you, and then put yourself there.

Fix this person, please!

2008-02-08T05:54:00.000-05:00

Over the years I've had a number of company presidents or senior leaders say to me, literally or figuratively, "Fix this person, please!" In some instances it's a skill issue at hand, but the vast majority of the time its attitudinal and/or behavioral habits that are causing problems in the company setting.

Developmental coaching can be a very effective method to help someone make breakthroughs in the very frame of reference from which they are operating. Especially in the case of phone-based coaching processes it can be very confidential and thus preserve the public image of the coachee, if that's a concern. There are some "watch-outs," however.

If only one or two individuals are being identified for coaching the selected persons might view the process with skepticism or defensiveness simply because they are being singled out. Key in successful coaching engagements is the buy-in from the prospective coachee, most typically obtained during a pre-engagement meeting with the coach.
Ground rules need to be established among the coachee, the coach, and the CEO sponsoring the coaching engagement. Topics such as confidentiality, the coach's full advocacy for the coachee, etc. need to be covered to prevent misunderstandings or unmet expectations later.
The coaching process is a catalyst for change, and the coachee drives the change. In some instances the process of self-discovery results in the coachee becoming recommitted to and reinvigorated by their work. In other instances it results in them realizing that the primary reason for their performance issues is that they don't like their job, so they decide to leave the sponsoring company. Although a temporary inconvenience, every CEO I've spoken with has said, "If it's not a match it's better if they go."
It is true that individuals are part of systems, and while they might have some improvements to make there might be larger issues at play. Group coaching might be a more effective methodology when you want to leverage the beneficial influence of top performers or enhance teamwork while improving individual performance.
Coaching style in management does not have the same impact as it does to engage a business/personal coach. When a manager uses a coaching style he or she still has a horse in the race. The potential conflict of interest between the company's wellbeing and the wellbeing of the coachee dilutes its effectiveness.

A CEO told me the other day that they had what they perceived to be "dead wood" in their company, but that they weren't quite sure that they had provided a real opportunity for the individual to improve. Because of that reservation they were delaying in taking action to terminate the employee, which might result in lingering performance issues and ongoing headaches.

Perhaps a solution for the CEO would be to involve the individual in a coaching process with a neutral outsider to the company. The person might indeed have to be terminated later anyway, but the CEO could do so with full confidence that the individual was provided an opportunity to improve. Best case scenario, however, and a distinct possibility, is that the person can become more competent, more confident, and more focused such that they can fulfill their potential within the company.

When your job's not a match for you

2008-02-07T05:36:00.000-05:00

Are you dissatisfied with your job?
Have you felt that way more often than not for the last several months?
How long are you willing to hang in there to wait for things to turn around?
Are you starting to think that your job is just not a good match for you?
Are you thinking that it might be time to cut bait and take a new direction?

If you've answered yes to any of the prior questions, you might want to consider the following:

To what extent does your job entail the tasks that you really love and/or that you're naturally skilled at doing?
Are there ways to get more skills in the content of your work, and if so, are you willing to go get them?
Can there be alternative ways of handling the portions of your work that you don't like and/or at which you're not as talented as you think you should be?
Is this really about certain interpersonal conflicts rather than about the content of the job itself?
Is it possible that the issue is an attitudinal one inside you, and not about the job?
How big is the concept of commitment inside you, and how does it compare to the size of your need for joy at work?

If you are willing to admit that you've not really been giving it your best effort perhaps you should really dig in for a finite timeframe (a month, 3 months) and test whether you'll feel differently if you're really engaged. If, on the other hand, the consideration of these questions is reinforcing in your mind that your current job is not a good match for you, then why invest more time and energy pushing the big rock up the steep hill?

If you've been a good Do-bee and have socked away some savings you can start looking for a better match, or if you have other sources of income you can just choose to give notice now - like that. I'm not suggesting that you be irresponsible. Consider the reputation you want to leave behind you in your company. Also consider the other people at home who might be depending on solid, predictable revenue from your work.

But life's too short to spend your every morning dreading walking into the office. You're the creator of your future in the choices you make. Why not make it a future that energizes you and heightens your contribution to the world?

No time for the "people stuff" on your team?

2008-02-06T05:40:00.000-05:00

So you've been ramping up the focus on productivity to go with the new year. You're lasered in on your goals and you expect your team members to be equally intent. Remember the old adage, "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy"? Well, all work and no personal connections make teams dull too. I don't mean to imply that work is boring. But when team members relate to one another on multiple levels it's easier to hang in there even when the going gets tough in achieving company goals.

Certain members of your team are going to value the relationships more than others simply because of their natural temperaments. As defined by their behavioral style they don't necessarily want to jump right into business - they prefer to grease the interpersonal skids first. It's important to them that participants are OK with the decisions that are reached. They're not necessarily looking for unanimity, just equanimity by the time the whole thing is done

The flip side of this is the "let's cut to the chase" folks. They don't want to dilly-dally with irrelevant discussion. This doesn't mean that they don't like the people they work with. It just means that for them the task at hand comes first, and they want to get it done and crossed off the "to do" list. It's not personal and that's OK. If people don't agree that's OK too as long as they're willing to do what's necessary anyway.

So if you're running a team be aware that there are two major style dichotomies for you to manage:

task orientation vs. people orientation
fast processing pace vs. slower processing pace

If you go too far toward one end of the pendulum swing in either dimension and stay there you'll risk alienating team members or eliciting less than optimal performance because your team members aren't as engaged as they could be.

If you don't want to invest expensive meeting time (all those high salaries in one room aren't chump change) on "How's your golf game and how are the kids?" kinds of discussion, create some opportunities for that to happen outside the meeting. One senior leader I know makes a practice of cruising around his department at 4 p.m. a couple of times a week just to stop and say "Hey" to the people who work in his department. Another group has a Friday lunch ritual. In both instances the idea is that the work counts and the people count too.

When you want to lead your team to peak performance the "what to do" matters, but the "why do it" matters just as much. When you engage the person, from whatever motivator is important to THEM, they'll leap tall buildings to achieve their goals - and the company's goals as well.

Called to the teacher's office...

2008-02-05T05:42:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my husband and I had our conference with our younger daughter's preschool teacher. It's funny to observe one's own nervousness and anticipation, perhaps dread, at receiving feedback. We love our children dearly, but we also see them in their worst moments as well as their best - so we hope against hope that the news from the teacher will be about the sunnier, more obedient side of them.

Apparently our daughter's attentive, witty and friendly clone has been attending school for her this year. Seriously, we had a feeling that she was doing well, and we've been observing her progress in learning numbers, her alphabet, learning to write her name, etc. But it's always good to hear from someone who sees dozens of children every week to get a more objective view.

Perhaps I wouldn't be posting this if the news weren't so good. Would I really want to know if the teacher thought my child was doomed to mediocrity, predicted now at age 4 to extend for the rest of her life? Yes I would want to know, because that would mean I'd have to duke her out or call her on the carpet for her myopic view of my darling child! Next I'd work my tail off to prove the preschool teacher wrong about my little jewel.

I'll never forget my older daughter's kindergarten teacher saying to me, "You know you are your child's first and most important teacher." Even though we called in for kindergarten registration yesterday and are getting ready to hand her over to the "big school" in September it's good to remember that - teacher or no teacher, good one or bad one, big class or small - we're the ones who see the big picture for our kids. We're the ones who teach them and give them feedback and stand right behind them while they head off into the big world with their first lessons already under their little belts.

2008-02-04T05:41:00.000-05:00

Well, another Super Bowl has come and gone, and although I'm not a huge football fan I too get swept up into the excitement. My daughter was the underdog in our house, rooting for the Giants while my husband and I wanted to see the Patriots go undefeated. But the stories from the game were inspiring, as usual, and I can't be bent out of shape about an upset that was so exciting.

I was inspired by the story of Giants coach Tom Coughlin, who came in and turned the team around from its worst season in 20 years in 2004 to Super Bowl Champions in 2008. Known for being a disciplinarian, Coughlin pulled the mental toughness out of a defense that last night stopped the highest scoring team in NFL history.
I was impressed by Michael Strahan, Giants defensive end, almost retired before this season. Because he chose not to pack it in yet he had the opportunity to execute one of four sacks that stopped Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Prior to last night's Super Bowl Brady had never been sacked more than three times in any game.
I was intrigued by Eli Manning, third in a dynasty of outstanding players and the most recent to prove that he's world class. His father Archie was known for being a gentleman as well as a two-time Pro-Bowler and one-time All Pro quarterback. Big brother Peyton led the Colts to last year's Super Bowl win, and cheered Eli on from the skybox at Phoenix last night. And now Eli himself will be wearing a Super Bowl ring. I loved it when he said postgame, "That's where you want to be, with hardly any time left on the clock and an opportunity to score." Skill, heart, focus, and determination all converge to create a performance like his.

Now it's back to reality for those of us who don't live in sports. We get brief glimpses into the lives of those who risk public failure and serious bodily injury for the love of a game. Football fan or not, looking at a night like last night you gotta respect that.

Nonintimidating input methods

2008-02-01T05:13:00.000-05:00

Let's say you want to be an enlightened, modern sort of leader, so you start asking for employee input. But for some reason you're not getting it - you ask a group what ideas they have and it's as though they're frozen in time while snow settles quietly upon the room. What's a leader to do?

The first issue might be the overall company culture, and the unwritten rules of the game under which your employees think you want them to be operating (meaning shut up and sit down and we'll tell you what to do.) But that's a topic for another day. Second issue might be the leadership style they're used to hearing from you - this asking for input thing might be shocking to them. Again, that's a topic for another day.

I checked out the site of the American Society for Quality for some employee involvement tools. Here are links to some facilitation tools that you could choose to use to generate ideas without attaching them to some huge culture change change initiative. If you mix it up and use them often you might find that the company culture AND your perceived leadership style are de facto evolving in a positive way as a result.

Fishbone diagram - used for identifying the root cause of a problem - also called cause and effect diagram.
Data collection and Analysis - data is the foundation for fact-based decision making. Check sheets, histograms, and other data collection tools turn a discussion from "dueling egos" to "just the facts, ma'am."
Evaluation and decision making - A decision matrix lists a set of criteria, each of which is scored by the group. Whichever choice gets the most points wins. In multivoting you can use sticky dots or even markers for participants to mark their choices of, say, the top three issues on a list that's been developed. Attention is given to each item in priority order.
Idea generation tools - Everybody talks about brainstorming, but many groups do it incorrectly and actually wind up shutting down ideas rather than generating them. Check out this link for additional ideas like nominanal group technique...

The American Society for Quality is all about employee involvement and using data to make better decisions and provide higher quality of products and services. If you're serious about becoming more intentional about involving your employees in decisions check out their list of events. You don't have to be a manufacturer to benefit.

Eight reasons why people don't set goals

2008-01-31T06:33:00.001-05:00

Many times in my posts I know I'm writing under the assumption that my readers have developed written goals. But I know there a lot of folks who for one reason or another have not yet chosen to do so. Here are some of the top reasons why people don't set goals:

The idea of full accountability in the form of "I made it or I didn't," is intimidating.
Someone else is already mandating what their goals should be. (Can you spell murder by objective or budgets that flow downhill?)
The corollary to #2 is that the word "goal" has four letters and is equivalent to a whipping post - it's something you don't really want to do, it'll hover over your shoulder like a vulture, and it's going to get you in trouble if you don't do it.
They have nonspecific unwritten sort-of goal ideas and don't see that writing them down will make a difference in whether they achieve them or not.
If you achieve goals your friends might ostracize you for "showing off" or "acting like you're too good for them."
They are concerned that being individually proactive rather than completely responsive to others is selfish.
You might not know how to structure a goal statement or how to lay out a solid plan.
They don't have a solid direction, so they don't have a frame of reference under which they could develop goals.

To what extent are you running your life? Is your life running you? If you have no goals how do you know where to focus your energy? Go ahead, think about what you really want. Then wrap some words and a timeframe around it. Get specific so you'll know when you've gotten there. Give yourself a little stretch in what you want to achieve, but when you're getting started as a goal setter set yourself up to win by keeping the amount of stretch manageable. The extent of your ability to believe in the realism of the goal is the extent to which you'll feel committed to do what's necessary to achieve it.

If you're not a newbie to goal setting but are reading this because you know other people who struggle with this, just how audacious are you ready to be? Are you really putting it out there and stretching yourself? If you've had some success in achieving goals already, my challenge to you is to go for a bigger one. Not because someone else tells you to, but to test just how far you can take yourself if you choose to do so.

To structure or not to structure, that is the question

2008-01-30T06:16:00.000-05:00

A great deal of my work revolves around one of two issues: helping clients manage stress, and helping them boost their personal productivity. One of the key components in improving each of these situations is structure.

Too little structure
Structure gives order and predictability to the day. When you get up, get showered and dressed, eat breakfast and head out to work in the same routine every day you're often halfway to work before you actually have to think in a conscious fashion. You're on autopilot, which frees up your mind for other activities. Your stress level is relatively low because you're not having to make any decisions other than perhaps what to wear.

When you have too little structure to your day every activity is a new decision, so every move you make has to be based on intention. If your overall intention is not clear, or if you aren't certain that you're truly committed to whatever your goal is, you're less likely to be consistent about taking action.

If you want to make sure that you're doing certain activities regularly and that the Quadrant Two (not urgent but important) items are addressed, enter official time slots for them in your planner. You're making the decision and the commitment ahead of time so your most important tasks are less likely to fall victim to the latest crisis or popular activity.

Too much structure
While structure can help reduce stress by setting up automatic action, too much of a good thing can result in your brain being disengaged from the task at hand. It always reminds me of the old Dunkin Donuts commercial where it's four a.m. and the donut man is trudging out of bed, saying, "Time to make the donuts..." After a while you might find yourself following a routine cowpath and not remember why you're doing it this way. The routine might no longer be the most desirable or the most effective method, but because it's in your structure you're doing it without evaluating it.

Too much structure can also lead to inflexibility and negatively impact interpersonal relationships. If you find yourself saying (even just inside your head) "yeah, yeah, yeah - hurry up so I can get on with my day," when a colleague or family member is talking to you you're probably placing too much focus on yourself and/or your own tasks. It's possible that you're treating them as objects or obstacles and dehumanizing them.

You also might let go of your structure temporarily when conditions are outside of the status quo. For example, if you're feeling ill go ahead and sleep in for a few extra minutes. If your child is upset, stop what you're doing and just listen or give them a hug. If it's a holiday, take some time off and get a change of scenery - do something fun.

It all gets back to one major principle of effectiveness: whatever you're doing, do it on purpose. Be aware and make conscious decisions. You'll know you've made progress when you get closer and closer to achieving your goals.

Freedom from stuff

2008-01-29T05:42:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine is getting ready to put her house on the market, and she's in the process of going through her worldly possessions to determine what goes along with her, what gets donated, and what gets pitched. Her significant other is shocked at some of the items that she's ready to get rid of, but she's determined to complete the task. She tells me that it's important to her not to get too attached to her things - after all, it is only stuff.

A whole generation of people is working right now to downsize because their desired lifestyle no longer includes the care and keeping of big properties and piles of possessions. But that process isn't easy - for many of us the stuff has so much emotion connected to it that it's hard to let it go. Our stuff can represent:

Memories
Accomplishments
Aesthetic pleasure
Tokens from loved ones
Social status
Younger and/or thinner days
Special events

I'm sure there are other connections that I haven't listed above. No wonder our things are so hard to put aside!

Even though she's only halfway done with her "weeding out" project my friend tells me that she's feeling lighter and freer. She's realizing that things that were important to her years ago cause a second thought, but she's letting them go nonetheless.

In my house it seems as though we're still upsizing - I have my own collections of sheet music and craft supplies, but with two children it's easy to get buried in plastic stuff! It's time to start going through the things that are no longer developmental matches for the girls and donate or sell or even just pitch them. I've been conservative about this so far because I don't want to upset them, but it's getting to be time.

If you're considering declaring your own freedom from stuff, here are a few ideas to keep in mind:

Envision the result you have in mind and keep it in the foreground of your thinking when you're making decisions.
You might be making room for something new and exciting!
If you haven't used it in a year it's likely that you won't be using it this year or next year either.
Think twice, then ask before giving it to somebody. Otherwise you might simply be passing the "stuff" problem on to someone else.
If it's got sentimental value take a picture of it. This is a great solution to the kids' bulky artwork - snap a photo of them holding the item. That way you'll not only have a record of the art, but also of the age and stage your child was at when she or he made it.
You might be able to recoup some of your investment in your stuff by selling some items on Ebay or by having a yard sale.
Some of the charities in which you're involved might appreciate some of the items. Some books can be used by the library, literacy organizations, child development centers or family shelters, for example.
Check with your trash collector about large item pickup. Some companies allow one large item per pickup date, some others will collect more with a special arrangement. There are also services like The Junk Man who will come to your house and cart it away in one fell swoop.

Ultimately the question becomes, "Do you own your stuff, or does your stuff own you?" "Scuse me - the control freak in me needs to go throw something out now.

Developing yourself to your fullest potential

2008-01-25T08:11:00.001-05:00

If I were to ask you right now, "Do you believe in developing yourself to your fullest potential?" how would you respond? Think carefully - this question is deeper than it looks at first blush.

If you would answer "Yes, of course!" what would that really mean? Would it mean that you'd be in a lifetime of night classes? Would it mean that you'd drop the donut you're eating right now and make a scrambled egg for breakfast instead? Would it mean that you'd decide to take your kids to the park today and invest time simply enjoying them and being 100% present?

If you answered "Yes," but know you haven't been intentional about self-improvement, what does it tell you about yourself? Do you display a noticeable gap between what you say and what you do? Are you more committed to others and their goals than you are to yourself? If so, why?

If you would answer "No," to my question above, why not? Are you being extremely candid with yourself about how you might have been coasting lately? Have you taken the position of "I'm OK - it's everybody else who needs to shape up!"

Whether your answer to my initial question is yes or no, what obstacles have been preventing you from developing yourself?

Current life circumstances?
Lack of confidence?
Lack of direction?
Worried that if you commit yourself and fail you'll look bad and/or feel bad?
Concerned that you'll alienate your friends and family if you get too successful?

Who is ultimately responsible for your development? It's nobody but you. If you're not satisfied with your current circumstances, or if you want to be a living testament to the limitless power of divine creation, take a good look at yourself. Take your developmental temperature. Look unflinchingly in the mirror and identify the areas you want to grow. You might decide that you want to shore up some weaknesses, but you might also decide to take a couple of your strengths and develop them into world-class contributions.

Heavy question for a Friday morning, but there's no time like the present....

Creating the foundation for referrals

2008-01-24T08:01:00.000-05:00

Sales and marketing efforts are expensive, and if you're running your own show the expense isn't just in the dollars you spend. Part of your cost is the lost opportunity to be doing paid work during the time you're trolling for new customers. I'm at a conference this week, and according to a number of my colleagues approximately 70% of their revenue comes from referral and repeat business. Many of them are not satisfied with that number - they're shooting for 80%, 90% or higher.

So how does one go about building a practice without going out and pounding the pavements? After all, most of us are in our business to do the content of our business, not to be a salesperson. As a matter of fact a number of us have baggage attached to the label of salesperson - we have an old but persistent habit of thought about the loud sportcoat, fast talk, insincerity, and I win-you lose attitude that the sales role engenders.

What do you consider to be a referral? Are you looking for a list of names that are in essence sales leads? Are you wanting personal introductions? Would you like your referrees to call you?
If you want more of your business to come from positive WOM your job #1 is to figure out what part of your product and/or service will be buzz-worthy, and then work to get it to the standard that will create fans. Perhaps your differentiator will be your process, the visual appeal of your product, your own personality and skills, the quality of service, etc. The idea is to be worthy of referrals by earning them.
Think about the timing of when to ask for them. It's more likely that you'll get valid referrals when you've completed results-generating work for a customer than it is to get them when you've only just met.
Consider how you want to ask for referrals. Are you looking for their help? Or are you giving them the opportunity to help a friend or business associate by hooking them up with you, a reliable resource? These two positions come across very differently, and you want to be intentional about the situations in which you use them.

Overall, the first rule of referrals is to ask for them. The corollary, however, is to earn them. Demonstrate to clients and prospects that you're the resource of choice for their company and that of their colleagues and friends. It will be easier to ask when you're confident that you're providing outstanding value for the investment. And who knows? Your phone might just start to ring on its own.

Applying science to people - Robert S. Hartman

2008-01-23T08:05:00.000-05:00

One of the things that drives me crazy about how people perceive the work that I do is that some of them discount it as "touchy-feely." They are under the mistaken perception that coaching people as a career is all about everyone feeling happy all the time and having a Pollyanna view of the world. I suppose that one could say that part of my purpose in my work is to do just that - but the reason is quite pragmatic. Effective, satisfied people create profitability.

I learned this week about Dr. Robert S. Hartman, creator of the science of formal axiology. Hartman was born in pre-Nazi Germany and criticized the Nazi regime. He managed to escape Germany under a false passport - Hartman was not his original last name. Robert Hartman was a mathematician, and the experience of evil in his younger life via the Nazis led him to seek a definition for "good." For his work in formal axiology Hartman was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1973, two weeks before his death.

Formal axiology demonstrates how people assign value to things. In the Attribute Index (based directly on Hartman's work) it's two series of proxy statements that participants drag and drop and place into order - more important to less important and good to bad. The result of their prioritization process creates an output on 80 attributes - all generated from mathematic calculations. The attributes add up, if you will, to an individual's focus in the three categories of feeling, doing, and thinking.

I might be naturally very big on feeling and interpersonal aspects, and focused on thinking and systems, but not very focused on taking action. Under pressure my preferences will be magnified, even if I'm able to use all three dimensions when I have time to stop and think about them. The degree of my preference (or ability to see) each of these three dimensions is going to make me perfectly suited for certain types of jobs and a complete mismatch for others. On the Attribute Index I can look at the relative scores for each of the three dimensions and see how much my actions and preferences are skewed toward one or more, or skewed away from them.

From the information in the Attribute Index I as a leader can put my finger on opportunities and attributes where people can be coachable (improvable) or manageable (I create the environment to capitalize on their strengths or compensate for their weaknesses.) I am also able to see situations where someone is absolutely not strong enough in a specific dimension to be placed in a certain role in my company.

So much of sociology, anthropology, and psychology is developed through inductive reasoning - we observe people, develop a theory, and observe more people to prove the theory. Formal axiology takes the study of people into the arena of "hard" science - that of deductive reasoning.

What a relief for executives who have always found the people management aspects of their jobs to be frustrating and messy! Now they can have access to data. And what a boon to people who want to help people develop, but who don't want to waste time tinkering. Now they can target their development efforts more efficiently toward high-leverage activities. Most importantly, through the Attribute Index individuals who want to become more effective can get unbiased feedback as to why they are or aren't succeeding in their current roles. They now have the insight to take themselves anywhere they want to go.

Beware the pigeonhole!

2008-01-22T08:09:00.000-05:00

One of the earliest tasks we learn is to sort - blue vs. red, girls vs. boys, chairs vs. tables. Our sorting skills led us to be able to put a name on things - to give them labels. Remember that old phrase, "if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it must be a duck?"

When it comes to external, observable characteristics we can be offbase in our assessments now that we're older and the classifications are a bit more complicated. If I see someone in a business suit I might assume that they're an executive, or if I see someone tattered and dirty I might identify them as a homeless person. The "suit" might actually be one step from homeless and making a last-ditch effort at a new job, and the tattered and dirty person might be leaving a long day of a dirty job. In these two cases my labels would be inaccurate and inappropriately applied.

The pigeonholing process doesn't stop at physical appearance, though. We listen to how people talk and how they act and we make assumptions about less tangible things like their education, their intelligence, their social connections, career potential, etc. In my opinion, worst of all is that we assume that they either "have it" or they don't. End of story.

We don't want to be labeled and pigeonholed ourselves, but the fact is that we're conditioned to do so to one extent or the other to other people. It helps us know how to behave toward them, and helps(?) us anticipate the rules of engagement, as it were, for dealing with them. Yet if we believe that we ourselves are unique and dynamic, improvable and changeable, why do labels feel comfortable?

I think we like pigeonholes/labels because they are easier and more efficient than actually engaging with someone. Once we've made our determination about somebody we can get on with our lives. But in fact they're not static - they're not chairs or tables, red or blue and unchangeable.

In the process of getting certified in a diagnostic tool called Attribute Index I saw the evidence for myself. This tool is designed to assess the way people think, and is based upon a science called Formal Axiology, which uses complex mathmatical calculations to measure how people incorporate head, hands, and heart into their reactive decisions. Rather than 4, or 16, or 24 "types," this diagnostic has millions of unique potential outputs. No labels here.

I took this diagnostic about 8 or 9 months ago when my business was in a state of major change, and so was I. I retook it a week ago and the result had moved. In the time frame between the two iterations of the diagnostic I adapted my way of thinking. I was (a) impressed that the tool was able to register my personal growth and (b) was glad to be able to see that the intentional self-development in which I had engaged made a positive difference in the outcome.

I ask groups all the time whether leaders are born or made. Sooner or later they come along with me and say "made," even if they're skeptical about whether just anyone can do it. But now I have proof that the rock can be moved and pigeonholes made irrelevant. I moved the rock for myself,

Being intentional about the customer's experience

2008-01-21T08:16:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a looong travel day for me - not typical of my work life, thank goodness. I left the house at 9 a.m., arrived and hung out at the airport until around 12:30, stayed on one plane but had one stop and wound up three time zones away. I finally plopped my stuff down in my hotel room about 5:30 local time, the equivalent of 8:30 back home. Although my ears are still a little messed up from the last leg of the flight, it was a good trip - and for one particular reason - I came across a lot of people working with we travelers who were making a point of trying to brighten my day.

No this isn't all about me, although I certainly do believe I can attract smiles and fun conversation by how I'm being. I noticed that they were being intentional about joking a little bit, smiling, taking the extra step and noticing their customers.

I saw it first thing at the BWI (Baltimore/Washington International) airport when I did curbside check-in of my bags at Southwest.
I saw it in the woman maintaining a tidy food court near my gate, who noticed me looking for a trash can and pointed one out to me (in a friendly way, not enforcer-chick style) before I had to ask her.
I heard in at my gate, when the agent commented that she had three passengers with my first name on the flight as she collected my boarding pass - not necessarily that common when your name is Julie. Big thing to me was that she noticed my name at all.
I heard it on the flight itself, when the crew was doing its Southwest schtick of telling jokes during the safety demonstration, and while giving arrival instructions upon landing.
I observed it during a conflict with a passenger who had made a mistake, when the crew kept their cool even while he was being noncompliant, even belligerent with them. They helped him overcome his fear and skepticism and resolve the problem with no major consequences when it could have escalated.
I noticed it in the driver of the hotel shuttle, who asked me a couple of questions about me and my trip and helped me wind down when I finally arrived at my destination after a long, tiring day.
I even saw it in the room service at my hotel - quick and friendly delivery of my order, and when the server noticed that I was on the phone he immediately lowered the sound of his voice so I could finish my conversation.

Individually these instances might not be a big deal, but combined they turned what could have been an ordeal into a manageable, even pleasant travel experience. I always love getting a change of scenery, especially when it's combined with an opportunity to learn something new, but this was particularly good.

It reminds me of the commercial on TV right now where a person is doing a little good deed for another person, who passes it on to another person, who does something else nice for another person. You just never know who you're going to impact in your decision to be friendly, funny, present, helpful, etc. with the person you're in front of right now. You might just be starting a tidal wave of good nature and kindness, whether it's your job and your customer or not. Something to think about.

Dealing with the elephant in the room

2008-01-18T05:24:00.000-05:00

Where people skills are concerned, the question often arises, "Just how much should be said?" I'm of the view that honesty is not the same thing as full disclosure. For instance, why tell someone that they have a huge stain on the front of their shirt if they're not in the position to do something about it? But what if there's something big that nobody's talking about - an elephant in the room?

When everyone sees it but nobody talks about it the elephant doesn't go away. It stands there smelling up the place while people squeeze around it in their communication with one another. In some cases the elephant is big enough that one person can't even hear what the other person is saying because they're so preoccupied with the elephant.

What do you think would happen if one person had the courage to speak up and identify the elephant? Let's say you flew off the handle with George on Tuesday and you can still feel tension when you and he are in a room together. What if you said, "George, I know that I completely blew up at you the other day and I would understand if you are still upset with me. I am sorry for overreacting and I would like to mend fences with you, because you're important to me."

Notice that in the example above the speaker is acknowledging that there might be a problem and is taking responsibility for their own actions and expressing their feelings. They are expressing a desire to get past the situation on the basis of wanting to have a good relationship with the other person. Next the speaker should give George an opportunity to respond. If all goes well George will accept the apology and the elephant will dissolve.

It might not be quite that simple, but if unaddressed the situation will likely continue to fester and impact later communication between the speaker and George. It might even become fodder for the company gossip mill if the speaker is perceived not to care about running roughshod over someone. This elephant eventually could be in several places at one time!

Dealing with the elephants is more effective if:

You or the other person(s) can personally do something about the elephant you see/feel
You take responsibility for your part of the situation
You have a mutually beneficial reason for calling it to attention

The last point says you need to have a mutually beneficial reason when you call out an elephant. If you were to exclaim, "Sally, everybody knows that the reason you don't have a date for prom is that you have a face like a lizard!" you're not effectively identifying an elephant. Even if Sally is not very attractive by your judgment there's no benefit for her in you saying what you've said - you're simply hurting Sally.

Imagine how much less tension we would feel if we'd just call out the elephants and remove their power from them!

Stress and the busy calendar

2008-01-17T05:48:00.000-05:00

Are you feeling swamped? Are you running your schedule or is your schedule running you? Overly packed calendars are a huge source of stress, especially when you're juggling those of 2,3, or 4 family members. If your eyes are glazed and your brain in a fuzz take a minute and answer a few questions for yourself:

Is this only a temporary inconvenience? Will it all be better in a couple of days, or in a couple of weeks? If so, make a point to focus on your desired outcome for each segment of time you're investing. The feeling of progress will help to counteract your feeling of busyness.
If the 0-dark-hundred to midnight shift is your daily pattern and you don't like it, is there something that can go? Repeat "should" events that don't add value to your life might be the first place to start. Unless you LOVE cooking spaghetti sauce from scratch don't stay up till 2 a.m. doing it. And for heaven's sake, don't stay up late to clean your house! (Just my never-to-be humble opinion.)
Is there someone who can share some of the task with you? Perhaps a parent of one of your child's friends can drive them both to practice one night and you do the next. One evening's worth of time just found.
Continuing in the spirit of the switcharoo, do you know a family with whom you can trade kid nights, or afternoons when one day you watch their kids for a few hours and another day they watch yours? You can go to a movie, have lunch with your spouse, or just take a bubble bath.
Can you decide to take a week off? You don't have to go anywhere. You don't even have to take off work if you don't have available vacation days. Just skip all of the extra activities that have you running around like the proverbial chicken. Hang out - be as still as possible and in a little while you'll find yourself eager for more action. Well, maybe not, but you'll at least be able to feel rested and able to conquer.
Do you know what you'd do if you had more free time? Sometimes the reason outside obligations pull us along is that we don't have any of our own stuff pulling us in the other direction. Get a picture in your head of yourself relaxing and rejuvenating. What would it entail? Then make a date with yourself.
Are you playing hard? You know the old saw - "work hard, play hard?" Sometimes the stressful calendar is stressful because the activities sap rather than support energy. Play some one-on-one basketball, or get absorbed in playing or singing music, or play a game of sardines with your kids. The enjoyment will be renewing, and the endorphins and flow will help to relieve the stress.

A friend of mine has a rule - "only one activity per kid per season." That doesn't mean she doesn't run around a lot after work - and her work itself has her running around. But it does mean that for her there's a beginning and end of the crunch times. She can then regroup and get recharged for the next one. Not a bad idea.

From where are you starting?

2008-01-16T06:02:00.000-05:00

If you wanted to get to Oklahoma City and you asked someone for directions over the phone their first question would be, "Where are you now?" When you set goals for your work or your life it's nigh on impossible to create a realistic plan if you don't begin by assessing your current status.

New business owners have asked me whether it's realistic to expect a six-figure income in year one of their respective businesses. I can't have any accurate way of responding to them, because there are several key factors I don't know:

How much do they already know about their new business?
How much competence do they already have re: generating business?
How much confidence do they have re: generating business?
How much activity are they engaging in to attract clients?
How effective are they at delivering their products and/or services?
How many of their current contacts consist of people who could conceivably buy services from them vs. having to start from scratch in marketing and sales?
How committed are they to the achievement of the results they say they want, meaning are they willing to do whatever it takes?

Gosh - seven key factors, and that's just a first cut! I am not really even in the position to make predictions for them - I have no crystal ball. They are the ones who have to look themselves in the mirror and ask the questions about where they are right now and then answer with full candor if they truly want to be successful.

Oftentimes when someone comes to the coaching process they'll have "AN" issue in mind that's the catalyst for seeking a brainstorming and accountability partner. But we don't just jump right into that issue. In order to really know from where they are starting we look at all of the parts of their life - in business we look at time effectiveness and productivity, personally we look at career/financial, social, physical, mental, family, and ethics and beliefs. Without that full context we might not realize that the original issue is not the real issue at all.

Knowing where you're starting can also help you to set achievable goals. I'm not going to progress directly from couch potato to Olympic distance runner, especially not at the advanced age of XXXXX (isn't your computer displaying the real number?) Instead, if I want to use goals as motivators rather than whipping posts I need to work toward my ultimate objective in manageable steps. Once I see progress I get a second wind of motivation and I've created the foundation for the next level of improvement.

Values and relationships

2008-01-15T06:05:00.000-05:00

Have you ever expressed your opinion to someone and had the other person stare at you as though you must have come from another planet? Does this happen to you often? Seriously. One of the causes (other than your hairdo) might be the intensity of one or more of your values, especially as compared to theirs.

There's a Predominant Interests, Attitudes, and Values (PIAV) diagnostic that we do with some of our clients. The participant completes a web-based survey that measures them in the categories of Traditional, Theoretical, Utilitarian, Individualistic, Aesthetic, and Social. The diagnostic ranks the relative importance of each of the values to the participant, and also reports how their intensity on the value relates to 68% of the population.

For example, my highest value might be aesthetic. Let's say that I express my aesthetic value by being very concerned about the decor in my office. If I'm passionate about my aesthetic value I might not be able to be productive unless my physical surroundings are pleasing to me. My spouse might not be able to comprehend why in the world this is a big deal because his highest value is utilitarian, which focuses on practicality and usability and he's indifferent to aesthetics. Conflict ensues over painting, furniture, clutter removal, etc.

I've seen a correlation between certain work roles and predominant values. For example, a lot of the health care workers taking the PIAV were predominant in Social (concern about others.) Many business owners I've worked with have had Utilitarian (getting a return on money) as their number one, unless they are in a business like fashion, where Aesthetic might be numero uno in their motivators.

When you know what your most important values are you can understand your motivation better, and can take action to place yourself in situations that help you feel congruent (consistent with them.) When you know what your significant others' values are you can gain greater empathy for their points of view, even when they disagree with you.

In a company setting similar values can create a common denominator for relationships and purpose. If, however, nobody in the company has certain values the company could have a blind spot. For example, if nobody cares about theoretical issues (learning for the sake of learning) the company might find itself behind the eight ball on technological developments that could be mission-critical.

Exhuming my desk

2008-01-14T06:21:00.000-05:00

I've just come back from a workweek away from the office, smack into another crammed schedule. I'll be back on the road again next week. Although this isn't my typical schedule (by design, trust me) I find myself in the digging-out mode, wanting to make the most of my travel-free time this week.

Here's my methodology for exhuming my buried desk -

Survey the schedule for the week so I know how much time I have to get organized before I hit the ground running.
Prioritize emails to which I need to respond immediately and knock them out, figuratively, of course. Fortunately my Blackberry has kept me somewhat in touch so it hasn't gotten too out of hand while I was away.
Sync my calendar so I don't inadvertently double-book anybody.
File anything that can be filed from last week right away so it doesn't turn into a moldy pile on my desk and a distraction from what I need to be doing.
Oh, and of course remember to do a post on my blog, just to get back into the groove.

In an ideal world I would take a day to put my feet up after a week like that one. But alas, swim meets and kids missing their Mom call my name. So it's back in the saddle again. I've put my ducks in a row and I'm ready for the week. Have a good one!

How much faith do you have?

2008-01-11T05:39:00.000-05:00

Usually my posts talk about the secular world - although I have been active in a Christian church since I was a child I don't subscribe to a "mine is better than yours" view of religion. Being active in a church doesn't mean I know the all of the answers, nor does it mean that I always behave in the way I should. We are all eminently fallible - it's probably the biggest characteristic that we humans have in common. The topic of faith, in my mind, transcends theology - it relates to our overall relationship with other people and the world that surrounds us.

Wikipedia carries two definitions of faith that resonate with me:

Trust where there's evidence but not proof
Belief without reason

Have you ever been thinking intently about something and suddenly a piece of the answer to your question appeared? That happened to me just the other day. I have been thinking a lot about cultivating the Law of Attraction in my life, and on this particular day I was focusing on a specific business outcome I'm seeking in 2008. That very same day I ran into a person whom I haven't seen in almost 20 years who has some of the answers to that outcome I was putting out there.

I had a bit of a "woo-woo" moment when I considered the potential relationship between my focus of thought and the timing of the chance encounter. I was thinking to myself, "Wow! This stuff works!"

I'd love to be able to tell you that I have so much faith that I trust completely without reason, but I'd be kidding you. I tend to have faith in other people unless they give me cause to think otherwise, but otherwise I'm typically looking for evidence. I suppose the personal development journey for me will be to remain faithful even when the evidence is not quite so prompt and not quite so tangible.

Overcoming fear

2008-01-10T05:34:00.000-05:00

Are you letting fear run your life? Is it stopping you from doing something, or interfering with your ability to really engage in relationships? Do you stop short of investing all of your effort because you don't want to say later that you failed despite trying your hardest?

One definition of fear is "false evidence appearing real." A radio commentator used to talk all the time about how people can tend to "horrible-ize" situations, magnifying the threat factor beforehand to such a great extent that it can paralyze them, preventing them from taking any action.

Whether you're certain that your fear is based upon false evidence, real evidence, or no evidence at all, here are some strategies for overcoming it.

Focus on your goal. If your intention is strong enough it will pull you forward despite your fears.
Gather proof that it can be done. If you can identify people who have gone successfully down the path before you it will be easier for you to believe in the possibility of success.
Prepare. Do your numbers, or practice the skills you need to do the task at hand. You'll be less afraid if you remove some of the variables, or at least minimize their damage potential.
Get a partner. They can figuratively or literally hold your hand through your test. It might be even more helpful to you if they have already successfully done what you're getting ready to do. They can point out the potential potholes before you set your foot in them.
Stop thinking so much and just do it. It doesn't get any easier jumping off the high dive when you stand at the end of the board and study the surface of the water. You can have the whole experience behind you before the grip of fear gets a sturdy hold on you.

Fearlessness isn't the absence of fear. It isn't naivete. Fearlessness is the willingness to press on despite the fear you feel.

Knowing your numbers

2008-01-09T05:47:00.001-05:00

What are the key numbers you need to be following to make sure you're creating the future you want? In a company setting the key predicitive indicators are called the dashboard, things like:

$ in production backlog
Average customer satisfaction rating
# of new prospective clients met with

As an individual you might be following other numbers

Savings balance
Blood pressure
Cholesterol and/or blood sugar levels
# of date nights with your honey in the past month

How you feel might change day to day, due to the little glitches that happen in life. Keeping your eye on something measurable can help you maintain perspective and prevent you from falling into the trap of "I think I'm doing OK."

Why men and women don't understand one another

2008-01-08T05:18:00.000-05:00

One of the biggest cultural divides we'll ever have to cross is the one between men and women. I know, big surprise. The reason it has the biggest impact is that almost all of us will have to deal with it, even if we live in an area that is racially and ethnically homogeneous.

My favorite book on the topic is You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. She's a social linguist who has studied the different ways in which men and women communicate, and the different relationships they create through communication with others of their same gender. For example,

Men use "report talk" while women use "rapport talk"
Men use humor, insults, knowledge of data, etc. to one up one another and establish a pecking order. The guy with the best joke, best knowledge, best slam gets to be the top dog.
Women, on the other hand, seek to level the playing field among themselves. Woman A says to Woman B, "I love your dress." Woman B replies, "This old thing - I've had it for years and it's getting too tight." Self-deprecation is a big tool in female-to-female interaction.
Men hear the message - women hear the meta-message, or the message behind the message. Husband says, "My coffee is cold." Wife retorts, "You always expect me to wait on you!" Husband sits with puzzled look on his face and thinks, "Where did THAT come from?"

In the workplace both men and women benefit when they can effectively use both gender styles in communication. In a male-dominated department a woman can gain respect by being able to talk trash (humorous insult behavior) with the guys, or to talk sports or give great data. Men in largely female work settings benefit when they can acknowledge the social aspects of that cultural environment.

Are you hiring and/or promoting clones?

2008-01-07T05:34:00.000-05:00

Hiring is an inexact science - many companies are incorporating behavioral style or other types of testing prior to hire, sometimes even prior to interview to prevent themselves from making a bad match. References are a little bit harder to trust since many companies won't give the straight negative scoop lest they be subject to litigation from a terminated employee.

One hiring and promotion fallback method is to select someone "just like me." A leader might be thinking, "I've been successful, so why shouldn't they?" So they'll look for the skills and even the temperament that's a match for them.

That's a method that should be used with caution. Each of us, yes even you, has some blind spots, caused either by temperament, by values and beliefs, or perhaps by training. When you hire someone "just like me" you might have an easy relationship but you'll both have the same blind spots. Perhaps nobody is a good proofreader, or perhaps nobody is all that interested in innovation, or concerned about the people. Hiring someone just like you could be the equivalent of having all of the passengers sit on one side of the sailboat. Unless you're being intentional to counteract some heavy wind you might just capsize.

I joke all the time about how in my household we have "all chiefs, no Indians." Everyone has a strong personality, and we do tend to agree on certain things. But the strong personalities mean that the conversations can get "lively" in situations where every person wants to take the lead. I can think of a few people who feel uncomfortable listening to interaction that in our house is just discussion - it's not anger as their ears hear it.

The same thing happens in the workplace. If you've got all racehorses in your sales staff you've got your hands full of high maintenance. If nobody is willing to step up and make a controversial decision you're in deep trouble if quick action is needed. If a lot of you are alike and you have one or two exceptions on your team they might not contribute fully if they feel like they're swimming against a strong current.

Last, if all of the best employees think exactly like you why pay for anyone else to work there? You might as well just do it yourself instead.

Writing more effective position descriptions

2008-01-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

In the corporate world position descriptions serve a multitude of purposes - they create shared expectations, they help to formalize organizational structure including scope of authority and pay grade... In my experience most leaders ignored them unless their arms were being twisted by human resources, or by an employee who thought their boss was pushing them for performance too far beyond their pay.

One of the ways HR uses position descriptions for hiring is by writing them according to competency - "candidate will have a working knowledge of Word and Excel," etc. It helps them filter out unqualified applicants. But there's way more to effective performance than specific competencies.

A more effective position description starts with the results the employee is supposed to achieve. If you start with the desired results you're keeping the real target in mind, and you lay the groundwork for better performance management. I could work competently in Word all day long, but if I'm wandering around instead of keeping my eye on the ball I won't really be doing my job.

The second aspect of an effective position description is the methods by which the results are to be achieved. This might be the place where competencies come into play, but sometimes the methods don't have to be as firmly drawn if the results expectations are well set. For instance, perhaps one salesperson does his best prospecting by doing speeches and another generates clients by networking at Rotary. If their performance is being measured by results and they're hitting their numbers the methods (of course as long as they're ethical, etc.) don't matter. If, on the other hand, they're not reaching their goals the potential modification of methods then becomes the center of the performance improvement discussion.

It's perceived by some leaders that it's easier or more "fair" to manage from a cookie cutter - all of our folks do cold calls, every one of us has an MBA, etc. I can understand why they have a desire for consistency. But just like I'd feel about my own child in school, the system should make an effort to tailor to the unique needs and talents of the individual. Most often the most fair treatment for employees and the biggest benefit for the organization comes from treating them differently - from a methods perspective. Results are the proof in the pudding.

Finding out what you want

2008-01-03T06:03:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who really wants to work on manifesting good things through the Law of Attraction. He has just one problem - he doesn't know what he wants. This isn't so uncommon - we want big job titles but don't want the headaches or long hours that go with them. We want a lot of money but don't want to work such long hours that we don't have time to spend it. We want loved ones in our lives but don't want to give up things in our personal schedules that would free up time to meet them or be with them. In effect we ask for it and then give it back before Attraction can bring it to us.

So how is a person to discover what they really want? Here are some ideas for you...

Make a list of dreams - blue sky - that has no restrictions of money, time, spousal approval or anything attached to it. Certain ideas will start to gain traction once you write them down and you'll feel excited about them. Intense feelings help the Law of Attraction work.
Envision your ideal day. Think about it, talk about it, write it down. What will you be doing? What time will you get out of bed? What will you wear? What will you have for breakfast? Who will be there with you?
Walk around and notice things. Do you admire a house that you pass by? Can you see a couple who are noticeably affectionate with one another? Do you see a jogger who looks lean and fit? Use your observations to help you identify the things you want.
Make entries in a gratitude journal. The things for which you are grateful are the things you want. The process of writing them down helps you pay attention to them, which will help attract more of them to you.

Years ago I heard a Zig Ziglar speech where he talked about people being "wandering generalities" vs. "meaningful specifics." His words apply to the process of attraction. You can't attract something that you can't identify. Finding out what you want is Step One to a better life.

Focus on what you want rather than on what you need

2008-01-02T05:24:00.000-05:00

I'm reading The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham by Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks. I've been quite interested in attraction over the last couple of years, and this is my most recent foray into the topic. Abraham is not the Biblical character, or any one individual; rather Abraham is a name given to a collection of non-physical beings who speak to and through Esther Hicks. I know, it might sound a bit unusual to some of you, but bear with me here - the concepts are really cool and consistent with what I've observed in my own life.

One of the teachings in the book is that you attract a better life by focusing on what you want rather than on what you need. Here's the premise - when you want something you send out vibrations into the universe, which works to match your vibrations. You are a creator, and the world has limitless resources to give you what you want. If you want financial prosperity the world works to give it to you. Same goes with health, etc.

The Hicks' book talks about how we get mixed results - good and bad ones - in our lives because we are either not intentional about asking for what we want, or we inadvertently ask for what we don't want. Asking is like dealing with absolute numbers where 3 and -3 have the same value. So if we say we don't want to be broke the universe doesn't recognize the don't - it just hears "be broke." We focus on brokeness and it comes to us.

Thus the title of this post - focus on what you want. When you focus on what you need you're actually seeing the lack of something. It's has the same effect as asking for what you don't want and interferes with your ability to receive what you do want.

I'm starting my New Year working on being more intentional about focusing on what I want. I've seen wonderful things like the adoptions of my daughters come about fairly quickly despite a lot of obstacles, and I believe that it's partly because of the positive focus and emotion I attached to them. I've seen not-so-nice things happen as well, and in retrospect I believe I attracted them by obsessing about what I didn't want in such a powerful way that they came to me.

I'm sure I'll be writing more about The Law of Attraction, so stay tuned.

Starting out with a puppy

2007-12-27T06:33:00.000-05:00

We've had a project this holiday season - a week ago we adopted an Aussiedoodle (Australian Shepherd-Poodle) puppy. We're animal lovers, such that Boomerang (Boomer for short) is the fourth dog to live in our house. Right now our household inventory is 2 adults, 2 daughters, 2 dogs and 2 cats. Such symmetry! Such chaos! We love it!

Boomer is doing great in his acclimation to our family and our routine. Nancy and Steve at Doodlesville did an extensive orientation on health, housetraining and obedience training when we picked him up. One of their recommendations was that we start watching Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel if we weren't already doing so.

We checked it out the other night, and I have to say that if you're a dog owner or even if you want to be a better leader in general, Cesar has awesome information for you. It's all about the relationship, with you in a calm yet assertive role that helps the dog understand that its job is to follow. I was blown away by some big, even potentially scary, behavior problems that were handled readily by a change in the attitude and behavior of the owners as instructed by Cesar.

The Dog Whisperer reminded me of one of the best questions a leader can ask himself or herself: "Who am I being and/or what am I doing that's creating or contributing to this situation?" So often we look to place blame out there when we can find the answer by looking the mirror. Oh, and you're welcome for that gratuitous cute puppy photo.

Found time

2007-12-26T07:03:00.001-05:00

If you're one of the lucky folks who don't have to report to work between Christmas and New Year's Day, now's the time for luxuriating in the post-holiday reservoir of found time. The rush of preparation is over (unless you have a huge family like I do and still have 2 or 3 functions yet to prepare for) and the adrenaline from the bustle is starting to subside.

How can you make the most of that found time? What are the things you never seem to get around to? Could this be the opportunity to do one or more of them and check them off your list? Things like:

Take a whole afternoon to just curl up under a blanket and dig into a novel, or to view a film festival of your choice.
Take the spouse and kids on a hike or cold weather picnic.
Tackle that one-or-two-day home improvement or home organization project.
Call a friend or relative and get together for an impromptu visit.
Think about your accomplishments of the past year and set goals for the coming one.
Look ahead to a possible vacation destination for next summer and start planning.
Play with the family pets.
Visit a museum.
Go sledding or skiing if you're fortunate enough to have snow.

I'd be the last one to tell you that your vacation has to be yet another time for productivity, although if it will help you start the new year feeling strong and on top of it, go for it. You and your body need R & R time to function at peak capacity. And even non-job tasks count on the output-meter - baking, wrapping, cleaning, putting away, assembling, etc. are just as much work as are reports and presentations on the job.

However you choose to invest your found time, just be intentional about it. These open days are far too rare. Get full value from them.

Setting better target dates

2007-12-20T05:43:00.000-05:00

Well, it's the home stretch before Christmas, and I've told my family that based upon my calculations for the necessary time to complete my task list we'll be having our Christmas on approximately January 9th. Not really, but what would happen if we handled our preparation in that way? The revolt of the children would ensue, that's what would happen!

One of my "favorite" pieces of corporate-speak is "the date has slipped." Makes it sound as though the target date is a sneaky character, elusive and tricky, doesn't it? What really happens when the date "slips" is that somebody had an unrealistic plan or didn't execute properly on the plan they had.

Is the date itself important? Sometimes it is, as in my opening Christmas example. As my college journalism professor would say about once per week, "the deadline is just that - miss it and you're dead!" If you have a drop-dead date you develop the list of action steps and work backward to determine the progress check dates.

If the date itself isn't important simply create the list of action steps to achieve the goal, then allocate the time you think will be necessary for each step and add the timeframes up to generate your target date. An allowance of two weeks for each of three action steps will give you a target date of 6 weeks from now.

That's how you do the calculation, but be sure to apply an actual day, month, and year to your target date. If you say "within 90 days" or some such target your brain will perceive a rolling target, not a specific date. You won't have the urgency that comes from an impending date working in your favor.

If you're subject to interruptions that consume 50% of your day, then account for them when you plan your timeline. If you only have half of the day at your disposal you double the time allowance to accommodate reality. Otherwise you'll be setting yourself up for frustration or failure, and potentially not meeting your boss's or your customer's expectations - neither a good scenario.

If you're a necessity-based performer - you need to be under the gun to do your best work - start with the target date and then work backward to determine the last possible completion date for each of the steps. Even though the target date will be artificial and self-imposed it will still drive your behavior by establishing a sense of urgency for you.

Before you finalize your plan check for missing action steps. Sometimes people tend to group action steps into larger chunks than they can realistically plan, or they make assumptions about steps and don't even include them in the plan. Your timeline, and therefore your deadline, will be at risk if you don't account for all of the pieces. Think through every physical step you have to take to achieve your goal.

I suppose if I'm going to beat my January 9th estimated Christmas completion date I'd better stop posting and get wrapping! I'll be out and about for most of the next two weeks, so posts might be a bit light...Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Three-minute awareness exercise

2007-12-19T05:48:00.000-05:00

Stop whatever you’re doing right now – well, as soon as you’ve finished reading this post. Put your hands down in a neutral, comfortable position on your lap. Now answer these questions:

As you look around you, what do you see? What are the objects in your field of vision? How are they lit? Do they cast shadows? Is the space large and airy or close and confined? Is the space clean and tidy, dusty and disorderly, personalized or anonymous? What are the predominant colors that you see?
Now close your eyes and listen. What do you hear? Is there music, or are there people talking in the background? Can you hear the hum of your computer processor or the quiet buzz of fluorescent lights? Are the sounds loud enough that you have to close your ears a bit in order to be comfortable and/or concentrate? Or are they soft and indistinct enough that you need to pay attention to them to hear them clearly?
What do you feel? Is your chair hard or soft? How well do your feet touch the floor? Are your shoes comfortable and are your feet warm? What is the texture of the surface your hands are touching? Is there moving air in the space in which you’re sitting? How do your clothes feel? Are they soft and comfortable? Is your waistband constricting your breathing?
Do you notice any smells? Perhaps someone is popping microwave popcorn, or your coffee is wafting its steamy aroma into the room. Is someone wearing cologne? Are the smells fresh, stale, natural, institutional, appealing or repellent?
Is there a taste in your mouth right now? Perhaps the lingering flavor of a donut or the minty freshness of your toothpaste?
What emotions do you notice in yourself? Do you feel relaxed, tense, contented, depressed, tired, energetic? Right now are you where you want to be?

Ok, guided sensory time is over for now. I’m asking you to do this because oftentimes we all get so caught up in what we’re doing and where we’re going that we’re not really noticing right now. And now. And now. People could be trying to attract our attention, or our body could be trying to tell us that we need to rest up if we want to avoid getting sick. Right now you might have missed your favorite song on the radio or a quick whiff of chocolate chip cookies if you hadn’t been paying attention.

All we have is right now. The past is over and done, and all of the rehashing we can do won’t change it. The future is yet to come, with unknown windfalls and/or obstacles. But we can get full value from this minute, and this one, and this one by engaging more fully in the present.

Comparing yourself

2007-12-18T05:53:00.000-05:00

How often have you sized somebody else up and said "Gee whiz, they're prettier-wealthier-thinner-faster-taller-a better musician...than I am." Then you find yourself walking around seriously considering eating worms because you're not feeling very valuable. Hold on a minute!

First of all, are all of these things important to you? Important enough to change your habits and/or get more education or work longer hours and/or devote more days to the gym or practice room? Second of all, are all of these characteristics developable? I might be able to take action to get thinner, but I'm going to be 5'3" without high heels no matter what I do. Where the height thing is concerned, I just have to let it go.

The comparison game can be a slippery slope to eroding confidence. What makes it worse is that we tend to compare ourselves to a multitude of people and their best characteristics. If I expected myself to sing like Beverly Sills, play tennis like one of the Williams sisters, look like Halle Berry, earn like Meredith Viera AND persuade like Hillary Clinton I'd be setting myself up for feelings of failure. Nobody is one complete package of everything that is outstanding.

And let's take a look at something else - how many ways are there to be outstanding? Look at swimming, for instance. Some people specialize in one stroke, like butterfly or breast stroke, and win gold medals as a result. Others compete in individual medley events because they are equally strong in several strokes - it's the combination that wins the race. Some people have the burst of power to win at sprints - others have the endurance to win the distance races. Is one a better swimmer than another? Gold medalists are all champions at what they do best.

In my young career years when a colleague was stuck in the comparison rut our boss told him, "So what if their company plays football the best. Let's play OUR game - baseball." Of course he wasn't speaking literally. Why follow when you can lead, and do it with your own individual style and skill set?

I remember the buzz that surrounded model Lauren Hutton when she became popular in the 1970's and 80's. She was unique in that she had a gap between her two front teeth that she chose not to "fix." That gap-toothed smile appeared in virtually every fashion magazine and more than two dozen movies. Her modeling career spanned into her sixties, when she posed nude in a magazine to boost older women's self image. Lauren Hutton created her own version of beauty - natural, strong, resilient - and later launched her own cosmetics company even after sustaining severe injuries and requiring a long physical rehab from a motorcycle crash.

There are many ways to be successful, or beautiful, or wealthy. Your unique combination, your special definition might not have been created by anyone else before you. That doesn't mean that it's wrong. Play your own game. Sing your own song.

Seven questions that can change your life

2007-12-17T06:04:00.000-05:00

What if I were to tell you that you could transform your life, starting today? The end of one year and the beginning of the next is for many of us a time to take stock of the big picture in our lives. And as we go about summarizing this year and planning the coming one the process can reveal one of two major attitudes:

“Oh well, another year down the drain. Thank heaven it’s over.” - or –
“Yay. A new year and a clean slate on which I can create my future!”

I’ll always advocate the half-full, forward thinking perspective on life, but even if you’re an aficionado of the half-empty position there are a few questions that, if you really consider them and answer them candidly, can help you surge out of the starting gate.

What do I want my life to look like and by when?
What is important to me right now, and why?
Who is important to me right now, and why?
What resources do I want or need to put into place to do what I want to do?
On what strengths can I build to become more effective?
What habits of thought or behavior do I want to change?
What are the best next physical steps for me to take to create the life I want, and when am I going to take them?

Rather than just let your mind linger on these questions, write your answers down and put a date on them. First, the process of writing will help you synthesize random thoughts into something more coherent and focused. Second, written documentation will help you remember what you said, so it will be less likely to be edited due to faulty memory or temporary frustration.

You don’t have to share your answers with anyone. On the other hand, you might want to choose to discuss them with a loved one or an accountability partner. The only caveat in sharing them is that you are not allowed to replace any “want to” items with “should” items as a result.

Is this the problem or just a symptom?

2007-12-14T05:32:00.000-05:00

Your employees seem to complain all day long. Your child's grades are slipping at school. You're putting on weight. You have a rash on your arm. Your debt load is growing. Your spouse seems indifferent to you. Your house plants are dying. Sounds like your life is that of a modern-day Job! (Remember Job, the Old Testament character who must have been an ancestor of Murphy of Murphy's Law?) What a merry topic to pursue during the holiday season! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Unfortunately our problems don't know what time of year it is, and sometimes they even seem worse when we're "supposed to" be feeling cheerful and uplifted. But the calendar doesn't make them go away, so we might as well deal with them head-on.

Let's start with the easy one - the rash on your arm - and see what learning we can transfer to the other dicier situations. What do you do about a rash on your arm? Do you apply a bit of Cortisone cream or perhaps some antibiotic ointment? What happens when you stop doing whatever treatment caused the rash to recede? My guess is that it comes right back - because the rash isn't the problem. It's the outward display of something that's bothering your body, perhaps an allergen. Until you remove the source of the irritation, the allergen, the rash won't stay gone.

As for weight gain, the ubiquitous concern, before you jump into the next diet think about why you've gained weight. Some people don't sleep enough hours for their weight management hormones to kick in. Some people anaesthetize themselves with food to cope with stress or depression. I'll never forget the lady I babysat for at age 16 who was very large and said to me, "I eat when I'm bored. I'll bet you're thinking that I must be bored ALL THE TIME!" Until and unless she gets un-bored and engages she'll be fighting her body.

Remember the sign that says "Firings will continue until morale improves!" It's a joke, sure, but how many times do we as leaders blame morale on lazy, babyish employees. I'll bet that when we take a good hard look at ourselves we'll find that we're doing something that's contributing to the morale issue. Even if we're not violating any interpersonal laws of the universe perhaps we're not paying enough attention to factors that make our employees' work lives less than satisfying and motivating.

If you've tried to solve a problem and it keeps coming back you've probably only been treating symptoms and not the problem itself. Get some heads together and brainstorm what the possible root causes of the effect you're seeing might be. Is it something about the people, the methods they're using, the equipment or materials they have at their disposal, or perhaps the environment in which they're working?

Even if you attack the possible causes one by one and some of the "cures" don't create sustained improvement you'll be narrowing the field of possibilities until you hit on the one that's the real issue. And you'll be doing something about it. If you're not just sitting back and waiting you'll be way less likely to feel like old Job.

Contingency planning

2007-12-13T05:31:00.001-05:00

What has to happen in order for your game plan to work? How important is it that the game plan come off without a hitch? Feeling a little edgy? If you're stressed out it might mean that you don't have a Plan B in case Plan A doesn't work. Planning for the unexpected doesn't need to be difficult. Here are some simple examples of contingency planning:

Carrying an umbrella in your car.
Maintaining life, health, and disability insurance.
Leaving for an appointment with a time buffer that allows for traffic problems and still enables you to be on time.
Owning more than one pair of underwear (warning - don't think too hard about this one!)
Keeping spare ink for your printer on hand.
Stockpiling frozen foods and/or canned goods.
Accumulating a healthy-sized rainy day savings account.
Carrying a cell phone.

Some people might say, "BORRRRIIING!" I do know some folks who seem to prefer to play it closer to the edge. They get energy (or so they say) from the feeling of risk and say it heightens their focus. But if you want to be known for being reliable and don't particularly enjoy the feeling of stress-induced adrenaline coursing through your veins contingency planning is the way to go.

If you're concerned about sounding or feeling too negative, don't worry. The whole point of contingency planning is to ensure a positive outcome. You're only "being negative" if you let possible hurdles stop you from acting. List the obstacles, current and potential, and then determine solutions and/or preventative measures you can take.

One caution - it's hard to plan completely for contingencies when you don't know where you're headed. You won't know whether to carry sunscreen or a parka and winter boots if your destination is undefined.

Expanding your sphere of influence

2007-12-12T05:27:00.000-05:00

Would you like to expand your reach in 2008? Would you like to enlarge your sphere of influence? What do you think a larger sphere of influence will do for you? Will it help you feel more successful? Do you expect that it will bring you more business? Will it help you make a greater contribution in your company or in your community?

I generally describe an issue that is in your sphere of influence as something that you might not be able to deal with on your own, but that you can conquer when you have the right people on your team. When I looked up "sphere of influence" in Wikipedia the description went a little further. It's not talking about simply being on a team - Wikipedia talks about being the most powerful player in a situation. In the business strategy world it plays out in situations like software development, where if you want to release a product to the general public it had better be compatible with Microsoft. The one with the largest sphere of influence is the de facto dominant force.

So how do you go from being unknown to being the person with whom someone consults or whom they take into account for their next step or big project? The key lies in the old phrase "It's not what you know, it's who you know." The second part of that old saw is actually a little deceiving - it really means is "It's who knows YOU." If you want to expand your sphere of influence you find ways to become known. You can do it by:

Getting involved on a project that is being run by someone who already has a large sphere of influence and then performing well on it. Volunteerism is a great way to create this opportunity.
Finding ways to help other people at work, in the business community, etc. without an expectation that they'll reciprocate. Give a sales lead or referral, connect them with someone you know that will be beneficial to them. Trust me, they'll remember you.
Accumulating resources and designating a portion of them to be donated to worthy causes. You might decide to concentrate them on one or two projects so your contribution can be bigger. (You can give $50 to 20 charities and help or you can give $1,000 to a pet charity and be noticed.) Warning: a check, unless very large, doesn't get you known as well as your personal involvement does. It also dilutes the warmth and increased commitment that only comes from pitching in and getting your hands dirty.
Be the sort of person who is influential. Choosing to take the high ethical road (even when it is inconvenient) is one way to accomplish this. Continuing to sharpen the saw of your knowledge is another way.

Power is not something we take - it's something that's given to us by other people when we've earned it. The first step to take in order to have more influence is to take more responsibility. When you fulfill greater and greater levels of responsibility you demonstrate your value and expand your sphere of influence.

Questions to help develop vision for company culture

2007-12-11T05:29:00.000-05:00

A vision statement defines a company's purpose, its reason for being. It can describe the company the owners want to see when it grows up. On the way to the vision the organization needs to develop itself internally in order to have the capacity to fulfill the vision. We've found it helpful to ask some vision questions to get the ball rolling, usually as part of an integrated staff development process.

The owner or president can answer these questions by himself or herself, but I'd suggest that the process be extended to other stakeholders as well - management groups and even individual contributors. If employees have an understanding of and buy-in to the big picture you remove one of the biggest potential barriers to overall company change and improvement.

So here we go - project yourself and the company forward 5 years and answer the following questions as though it were five years from now:

An article has been published in the newspaper about the company's recent achievement. What is the article about? (remember, this is thinking 5 years from now.)
What are your primary products and services?
Who are your key customers?
How do you feel about the company today?
What behaviors do you see leaders engaging in that you didn't see 5 years ago? (this is from your future date, looking back to now.)
What do you hear employees talking about?
What changes have been made over the last 5 years?
What things are you measuring to determine your success?

Obviously this is only a starting point - you might have some very specific additional questions to include. You can distribute them as surveys or lead facilitated discussions to answer them. The idea is twofold - first, that everyone is able to see the future from wherever they sit in the organization, and second, that everyone is contributing in some way to the picture that is being developed for the company's future.

Holiday tradition or innovation?

2007-12-10T05:25:00.000-05:00

My muscles are still sore from the hours I invested (with the help of two elves) in festooning the inside of our house with a Christmas tree, lighted and unlighted garlands, and countless holiday knick-knacks accumulated over two decades or so. Of course we were obliged to play Christmas music while digging out the dozens of ornaments and draping them on the tree. We do that every year. But do we HAVE to have so much tradition, or is innovation - something new - more what we need to keep our occasions, our businesses, and our lives fresh and exciting?

In favor of tradition

Special times are partly special because of the associations and emotional connections we have with ones we've had before. Birthdays and holidays are celebrated every year, so we try to do some of the same things that made us feel wonderful the last time.
Some people especially enjoy their rituals - they are one thing to be counted upon in a world that can sometimes feel slippery and scary. Children like ritual because it gives them a sense of control over their environment - they know what's going to happen next. The elderly enjoy traditions because of all the memories they elicit.
To a point traditions can be relied upon to have predictable outcomes, because you've done them before. When you know the green bean casserole or the gift from the jeweler is a winner, why not repeat the win?
This might be the only time you hear those particular songs all year, so you want to get them in while you can. After all, the local radio station will only be playing them for 4 weeks before it's back to its regular adult contemporary programming format.

In favor of innovation

The downside of rituals can be that we don't have to be mentally present to engage in them. Doing something new requires that we pay attention and if we're in charge it means that we get to engage our creativity. That's fun.
Take advantage of the world we live in now. This year we put LED lights, in color, on our tree. This was partly to contribute to a more energy-conscious holiday, but also to change things up a bit in the appearance of our tree. Our house has been a study in white lights for about 15 years, and it's kind of nice to see the intense reds, blues, greens, and yellows in the background of our family ornaments.
Reach the people that the traditions don't reach. Some people (gasp!) don't like The Little Drummer Boy and some people would just as soon not have to eat turkey again. Perhaps going Christmas caroling is like toothpicks under the fingernails and they'd rather not participate than endure it year after year after year...
Acknowledge that life changes and create something different to embrace it. Grampa or Grandma might not be up to hosting 30 people in their house for a full day any more, so have it at your house, or go out to eat. Work might be slow enough or the family grown large enough that the holiday budget has to be a little different, so draw Secret Santa names or make contributions to charity. Realize that the married kids will be with their in-laws some years, so on the off years invite friends or neighbors for Christmas.
Invite new people into your life. It can be uncomfortable for a new entrant to join a group's established customs - they can feel like they have to have a code book in order to know what to do, or what's expected. So invent something new and everyone can experience it for the first time together.

Sometimes data has nothing to do with it.

2007-12-07T05:19:00.000-05:00

Today I might sound like I'm contradicting prior posts that say "In God we trust - everybody else brings data." Sometimes data has nothing to do with it. Sometimes it's your feelings that rule the day and determine what the right action is for you.

One of the key coaching questions I can ask is "What do you want?" Profound at first blush, I know, but think about it. What do you really want? This isn't Santa's wish list, but a statement of the desired outcome as defined by you.

Sometimes our desired outcome or the outcome we think would be the right outcome has absolutely nothing to do with the evidence or the current circumstances. As a matter of fact, many of the great scientific discoveries were based on a conscious flouting of the accepted data of the day.

It's only once you've decided what you really want that you'll be able to commit yourself to take whatever actions are necessary to manifest it.

Obviously, the optimal situation is when your feelings and the data align. It's easy to step out when the world around you is telling you to go for it. But what if you simply want to, data or no data to support you? If it weren't for feelings based decision making why would anyone

Adopt a puppy or kitten
Have a baby (at least in contemporary culture where they're not an economic necessity)
Buy a luxury car
Go on a tropical vacation
Contribute to charity
Wear expensive jewelry?

Just because you're deciding based on your feelings doesn't mean it's wrong (spoken like a true Myers Briggs ENFP personality type!) But if you're concerned that you'll go too easily or too far off the emotional decision-making edge, here are three possible criteria to consider:

Does this decision impact anyone besides me?
Are there risks involved, and if so, how big are they?
How long will I have to live with whatever decision I make?

If your decision passes each of the criteria above, why not go for it? Honor your gut, because this is how you become more of who you really are. Les Brown said,

We must look for ways to be an active force in our own lives. We must take
charge of our own destinies, design a life of substance and truly begin to live
our dreams.

Source of conflict - role confusion

2007-12-06T05:27:00.000-05:00

Were you ever in a meeting where you were wishing somebody would just shut up and sit down? Have you ever said "Who died and left YOU boss?!" Closer to home, have you ever worked with someone in what you felt was good faith yet your contributions were rebuffed?

Think about whether you're dealing with a case of role confusion.

I was talking to a mother the other day. Her son will be getting married in the next year and she told me her job would be to "Wear beige and keep my mouth shut." Smart woman. She knows that the bride and her mother will probably have strong opinions about how everything should flow, flowers, reception, dresses, invitations. Although this mother is highly creative and into everything aesthetic, if she throws in her two cents without being asked she'll be considered a buttinski and will thereby don the mantle of the not-so-nice stereotypical mother-in-law.

A coach/consultant was frustrated about a client's lack of responsiveness to the process he was going through. After some discussion with his own coach to clarify what was going on the coach realized that he was in a coaching situation but wearing his consultant role while he was with this client. Instead of being an unadulterated advocate for the client he was representing judgmental feedback from an outside source and trying to "fix" the guy. There are times when his consulting hat is absolutely the one called for. But he discovered that in this situation it wasn't his role.

Role clarification can be a key conflict-prevention activity whenever multiple people are involved. We come into situations wearing the collective assumptions and attitudes of our lives up to the current moment. I can be assured that my view of things will be a bit different than that of my colleagues or my companions, so whenever I act I take a risk of creating conflict or even creating harm if we haven't reached agreement on our respective roles. In addition, I might be under the impression that as a leader I need to take charge in any and all situations. Real leadership, however, involves following as well as leading - the appropriate role is defined by the situation, not by the individual and his or her temperament.

Back in the banking biz, part of the lenders' role was defined quite clearly in terms of lending limits. There was a formalized list of who could do what. Sam could unilaterally choose to risk up to $25,000 of the bank's money, whereas Sally was able to lend up to $100,000 without seeking any additional approval. Her education, experience and track record of success helped her earn that more senior lender role.

Where things weren't so clear in role definition was to what extent the lenders were responsible for going out and developing prospective client relationships. The "Old Lender" sat in an office and waited for applicants to come in. The "New Lender" paid visits to business owners with the intention of eliciting opportunities to quote on potential loan deals. The "New Lender" wasn't just interested in the loan - they were interested in the company's strategy, its goals, and its deposits and investments, too.

Once the "New Lender" role was defined the bankers and bankerettes didn't yell "Charge!" and head out into the marketplace. They needed development in the skills necessary - sales was much different than credit analysis. They needed mentoring and coaching while they learned how to make the process fit with their personalities. And they needed the practice of simply getting out and doing the activities that should naturally lead to growth in the bank's overall business relationships.

If you've got a repetitive conflict situation it might be helpful to initiate a sit-down to clarify what people's roles are. The intention is not to put them into a box - as I mentioned above, roles can be situational. But if you know you're ticking somebody off on a routine basis you'll gain major relationship points simply from being willing to have the conversation. Your openness (if you're truly being open and not just going through the motions) will be the foundation to build a bridge between you and them.

My purse is my go-bag

2007-12-05T05:35:00.000-05:00

Today's blog idea came to me via my daily dose of http://www.lifehack.org/.

My husband and I have always joked about the main difference between men and women is that women carry handbags. In my house it means I'm the usual repository for tissues, chewing gum, a credit card, ibuprofen, etc. no matter where we are.

On occasion I've resented just a bit the fact that everyone else in our foursome was able to travel unencumbered while I played pack mule for hubby's keys, the 11-year-old's cash so it won't be hanging half out of her jeans pocket, and a miniature pack of crayons to preserve our sanity with our 4-year-old in a casual dining establishment.

I've now had a paradigm shift as a result of reading this post from LifeClever on the concept of the "go bag" http://www.lifeclever.com/memory-zero-go-bags/. A go-bag can be the equivalent of an emergency kit, with first aid materials, a flashlight, and a bottle of water inside - the essentials you need to make a quick exit even if you're distracted or interrupted just before you have to evacuate and don't have your full wits about you.

I use the equivalent of a go-notebook when working with clients - my notebook has everything I need to facilitate a meeting, set up when they hire me. And my briefcase is its companion - it's a traveling stash of markers, masking tape, sticky notes and index cards to be grabbed on the go and ensure that I have everything I need without thinking about it.

I suppose this is what has really been happening with my handbag all these years - when we have to dash out the door my purse is Old Reliable. I know that if I scoop it up as we head out we'll be able to start the car, get a headache and cure it, go on an impromptu shopping trip, call the grandparents and schedule a business meeting, all based on the capabilities of its perpetual contents.

Suddenly I'm feeling quite secure in the fact that I can totally lose my mind and still have everything I need. I suppose I'm going to need a larger handbag to accommodate a rain poncho, sleeping bag and pup tent. Well, if I HAVE to go shopping...

Problem solving - process focus or people focus?

2007-12-04T05:30:00.001-05:00

What did you do the last time something went wrong? Did you:

Look at the process to see why it failed?
Look for a responsible party upon whom to affix the blame?

W. Edwards Deming, the originator of the quality movement said, "When a system is stable, telling the worker about mistakes is only tampering." Deming's position that revolutionized manufacturing and all of business was that people are essentially good and trying to do their best. If things are going wrong it's not because of them, rather they're going wrong because of faulty processes.

Think about the manner in which you start a car - any car. You unlock the door, open the door, sit down in the seat, buckle your seat belt, insert the key into the ignition, place your foot on the brake and turn the ignition key. Whether you're young or old, short or tall, a genius or not, the car will start.

That's a process that transcends model year and make of a vehicle. Thus, almost anyone can start a car - and that's the sign of a good process. An effective process makes it easy to succeed and difficult to fail. And in the situation with the car, if it doesn't start it's not typically the result of operator error - it's a failure of some sort in the car.

If process didn't work, why would there be recipes? Follow the instructions step by step and you will create a predictable result - it's a process. If you tinker with the ingredients, the temperature or the cooking time your results might not be as tasty as you had hoped. If you want to mess with the process it helps to have enough knowledge that you understand which ingredients make the cake rise, which ones flavor the cake, and which ones create the texture. Even in your adaptation and improvisation you're operating within the process.

If you find that you're in situations where jumping to conclusions and placing blame are regular aerobic workouts you're probably missing the boat on process. If only certain people know the "secret key" that unlocks consistent success you've got a breeding ground for errors and conflict. Even when the knowledge insiders are extremely competent your process has a fault in the fact that there have to be knowledge insiders for it to work properly.

If you want to minimize or even stop blaming activity in your organization take a look at these questions:

What are the key processes for our organization (the ones that create the most important results?)
Who uses the processes? (They should be directly involved in formalizing and/or fixing them if they're not working.)
Who would we like to be able to use the processes? (Is it OK that they require knowledge insiders or do we need them to be friendly even to novice users?)
How do we measure the effectiveness of the process? (How will we know that it's not working or needs to be improved?)

Great expectations and impending Christmas

2007-12-03T05:30:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are in the preparation for what is for my children (and I'll admit it, for myself as well) the time of year that holds unlimited possibilities - Christmas. The parental version of great expectations is that there is an idealized version of the holiday in my head that I'm striving to achieve - gifts that thrill the kids, a house that looks like it popped right out of a photo from House Beautiful, dozens of cookies, the perfect Fraser fir, you get the picture. The kid version of great expectations involves a three-page requisition - I mean idea list - of what they'd like Santa to bring.

Funny thing about expectations - motivational pundits tell us that if we expect the best we'll probably get it. But I think there are some things for parents to remember:

Questions for parents:

What does "expect the best" really mean for you? Will your Christmas happen with you in a relaxed and happy state of mind or will you be bustling around using a blowtorch to get the perfect crispness and golden brown color on the turkey? Will you be too busy to really be there?

What is this holiday about, really? Is it about the birth of Jesus or is it about how high the pile of gifts will be on Christmas morning?

With whom would you like to share the spirit of giving? Is there someone outside your household or someone you don't even know in the community who would benefit from a little bit of your attention? Friends? Neighbors? Shut-ins? Disadvantaged families?

What do you want to teach your children about Christmas? That Santa has an unlimited budget? That people appreciate homemade gifts the best? What kind of memories do you want to make?

How do you want to feel after Christmas? That it's one big letdown after the big shindig? That you'd like to carry the happy feelings forward into the more typical days that follow?

Christmas has always been a big holiday for my family, I think stemming from my grandmother who was generous to a fault. She cooked and shopped and baked and wrapped and entertained in a way that still gives me warm fuzzies when I think about her. She helped us see that it was important to think about other people and to demonstrate it, and Christmas was one of her big vehicles.

I have great expectations for this Christmas. But I'm trying to frame them in terms of what I want life to be like - not just what I want Christmas to be for myself and my family. Who knows? If I expect the best I might just get it.

Tapping new resources

2007-11-30T05:20:00.000-05:00

I'm involved in a volunteer project right now that has been really satisfying, and here's why: the leader of the project decided that she wanted to tap some new resources to make her project fresh, and to involve some new blood for succession purposes. She recruited new people who were interested in the project, and it turned out that one is a professional at what she's asking the group to do. The project will be complete soon, and I'm quite excited about what I've seen so far.

Once she assembled her team of experienced folks and newbies she laid out the tasks and then doled them out. We had a general discussion to get in sync about the overall concept, but then she let us loose to do our thing. Each of the players has ideas and they are not being reined in or edited. Instead she's building on them and coordinating them so all of the bases are covered.

As a result of her effective use of delegation and idea sharing I've seen awesome creativity and individual responsibility to get things done, and these team members are people who have a lot on their plates already. Because the leader is being so open, so are the team members. They're bringing ideas back for group reaction before they go forth, and the group has been encouraging and appreciative of each others' contribution. The deal is time sensitive, so the team has a sense of time urgency that is helping them feel motivated to summon their resources to complete their parts of the project.

Volunteer organizations have the potential to be the most political ones because the dynamics revolve more around personal influence than around authority. People who have been involved for a long time can start to have a sense of ownership about the area that has been "theirs" for a long time. Some of the potential fallout from that approach includes:

Stale ideas
Conflict over turf issues
Burnout of longtime volunteers
Lack of engagement on the part of new folks
Member attrition due to any or all of the above

We'll see the results of our team's work in just a couple of days, and I can't wait. I know I'm biased, but I think our leader's methods are going to result in the coolest outcome we've seen in a long time.

Data and customer loyalty

2007-11-29T05:27:00.000-05:00

A few short minutes ago I completed a post-stay survey from a vacation we took over Thanksgiving. I don't always respond to surveys, especially when they're so detailed that they'll require an investment of 10 minutes or so. I know, that doesn't sound like much of an investment, but in my oh-so-busy day...

I'm making an effort to respond to surveys more often now, and here's why - if I want optimal service I probably shouldn't expect them to read my mind. I know, that's a "duh" comment, but think about it. How often do we have expectations in our minds and then either get angry or go away when they haven't been met, when we haven't shared them?

Gathering Data
A colleague of mine frequently quips, "In God we trust - everone else brings data." We laugh, but he has a point. How do we as suppliers of service know whether our clients are happy or what we need to improve to create loyalty if we don't ask them?

According to a customer loyalty survey I read recently only 42% of loyal customers will provide direct positive feedback. Only 18% will share information with the company for improved products and services. I must admit that I was surprised at the low numbers, coming from the group of customers most likely to be coming back over and over.

It doesn't get better with unhappy customers, according to the survey. When expectations are not met, 68% of customers will share their negative experience with family and friends. While 63% of dissatisfied customers will communicate their dissatisfaction with the company, 18% will actually limit the information they would share with the company.

It appears that a certain baseline level of positive emotional connection is what is needed to obtain the feedback you'd like to hear from customers. From the data above, no news is definitely not good news.

Giving Data
Now you know why I'm making an effort to be a better customer by providing feedback. I can't make them guess what I want and then be justified in feeling frustrated if I don't get it. (I know, this sounds like marital counseling, but it is a relationship!) I know for a fact that my main supplier pores over customer surveys and absolutely uses the information from them to guide the company's actions in product development, service improvement, etc.

If you provide feedback to a supplier and they recover well and resolve any problems or if they enhance products and services as you requested it demonstrates to you that they truly do want to earn and keep your business. If they rebuff or ignore your information you know what you need to do - vote with your feet and find a supplier who cares.

Leading for speed

2007-11-28T05:50:00.000-05:00

How important is speed to your business? Would better speed mean a competitive advantage and therefore more customer orders? How would you go about increasing the speed of your processes (reducing the cycle time from beginning to end?) Here’s an illustration for you:

Imagine yourself holding two plastic drink bottles, one filled with colored water, and the two of them connected with a sleeve that forms a sort of hourglass. Your task is to get the water from the upper bottle into the lower bottle in the shortest possible time. How do you go about achieving the task?

Some leaders opt to squeeze the living daylights out of the filled bottle, forcing the water into the lower one. Forceful, but not fast – time it and you’ll see.
Some leaders tilt the two bottles so the water can trickle from the upper one to the lower one. Again, not a substantial improvement over doing nothing.
I’ve seen some people shake the bottles, but that winds up just bouncing the liquid around, sometimes even washing it back into the upper bottle. Still no real improvement.

Do any of these approaches resemble the manner in which you lead for speed? Do you try to force faster production through exhortation or even threat? Do you put your own hands into the process, perhaps even causing the process to slow down because of your interference?

If you want to see real speed, try this - take these same two plastic bottles, and start the liquid spinning in the top one. If you can create a tornado effect the water will drain quite quickly via the vortex into the bottom bottle. You’ll see real improvement in the cycle time. If you don’t believe me, or if you’d like to do this illustration for yourself, for your employees, or to dazzle your kids, you can find tornado tubes by clicking this link - http://www.amazon.com/American-Science-Surplus-Tornado-Tubes/dp/B000GYSZOI

The point is this – if the process is set up properly in the beginning, it’ll move quickly without major intervention on your part. When good people are pitted against bad processes, bad processes always win. So if you find that you’re herding sheep or pulling recalcitrant donkeys too often, take a look at the processes they’re using to get their work done.

Perspective - a history lesson

2007-11-27T05:53:00.000-05:00

Over Thanksgiving we took the girls to Williamsburg - a trek that I've been "suggesting" almost annually for the 20 years I've known my husband. I had vivid memories of going there as a child and feeling the reality of daily living in the 18th century. For me as a kid back then it was about the differences in clothing and the ways in which people cooked - and yes, I confess, mild horror at the idea of using a chamber pot.

On this trip I was excited to show my daughters the things that I discovered back then, and it was great to see the Williamsburg historic area and Jamestowne through their eyes. But the experience for me was quite different than before. I saw the people, their hopes and their struggles. And the most fascinating part for me was just how similar their concerns were to the ones we have now - concerns about the prospect of war, a bit of cynicism as they "followed the money" to understand the profit motives of some of the key players in what perhaps should be solely an ideological debate.

One of the highlights for me was hearing "When in the course of human events..." a drama played outside the Capitol building, featuring a reading of the Declaration of Independence and the viewpoints of women and men, from colonists, British soldiers and Benedict Arnold, whom we know as the infamous traitor of the American Revolution. They stood among us, they hid behind us, they could have been us as they talked about unfair taxation and concerns about whether religion was running the English government.

Wrapping up the drama was an interaction between two members of the clergy, one white and one black. The Rev. Mr. Moses, the black preacher, sang and spoke eloquently about the freedom to assemble and to worship in whatever way we wish. Ironically, when he asked the white pastor, chaplain to George Washington's army, about how soon slaves would be set free, the pastor replied "All in God's time, Moses. All in God's time." Freedom for all?

On our last day we visited Jamestowne, celebrating its 400th anniversary this year. What hardships people endured in order to create a new life in a new land! We saw a list of deaths from the summer of 1607 where one or more of the small community was dying every day, and some days up to three were lost from sickness or starvation. We boarded ships just like those that had crossed the ocean - smaller than some contemporary great rooms, yet carrying 21 or so people for a four-and-a-half month voyage to the land we now know as Virginia.

Of course at the time cooking over a fire and sailing for months to reach a destination weren't out of the ordinary - they were simply the way things were done. People lived much closer to the edge of death every day, or so it seems. But I can't help but wonder what there is that pulls us today, a motivation so compelling that we would be willing to risk injury or death to achieve it. Yes, I know men and women are serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere, but I'm talking about the everyday person. What is our frontier, and what are our ideals? Is this it, or is there something more to strive for?

Keeping up with the Jones's decorations

2007-11-23T06:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a day of relaxation and gratitude and family - well, at least we had two out of three - there wasn't much relaxation. My four-year-old announced Wednesday evening that "Why is our house not decorated for Christmas? Everybody else has decorations on their houses!"

Four years old, and already the expectations associated with what everybody else is doing are firmly ingrained in her little head. I'll admit that part of the issue is that she LOVES everything about Christmas right now. We took her and her sister to the mall for a pre-Thanksgiving haircut and she immediately spotted the big Santa setup. Of course we HAD to go see Santa, and it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet!

Thanksgiving morning (thank heaven I wasn't the primary cook) I responded to her concerns by dragging out my box of outdoor lights, teetered on the ladder to decorate the tree out in front and spreading the lighted nets on the bushes. I put a wreath on the door and sent the big sister out back to cut greenery for a little sleigh and galvanized metal pot we have on the front porch.

There was a bit of a hassle over some non-lighting nets and failure of the lights on the garland around the door (they were OK when the dh put them away last year!) But we wound up with decorations, with time enough to shower and make the mashed potatoes to take to Grammy's house for dinner.

I'll admit to a little bit of the Jones thing when it comes to Christmas lights. I love this season of November and December, when anticipation is running strong and we express our spirit by consuming extra electricity. No matter where I live I plant at least one large evergreen and some holly (we're still missing some boxwoods in our yard) so I have built-in fresh stuff . I've been known to have enough of a Martha streak to attempt to make my own wreath - won't say they've always been lovely, but they've been mine.

If the house is not festive it feels like Christmas isn't important. At the same time the outer appearance of the house signals prosperity, too. I suppose that's where the Joneses come in. Of course there is a line in the sand over which you don't want to tread. There's a house near ours that looks like a refugee from the Christmas Vacation movie, with a zillion lights, inflated characters, and plastic Santas and it runs its show from November 1 (literally) through New Years, and sometimes beyond. I guess it's sort of like a huge diamond ring. It's only vulgar when somebody else is wearing it!

All is not lost with my little girl and the Joneses, however. When given the opportunity to talk to Santa all she asked for was a shirt and some shoes (she likes clothing like her Mommy, bless her girly heart.) Of course on Thanksgiving Day she was panicked to realize that she forgot to tell Santa everything - that she wanted a clock, too. We promised to pass the information along.

Thank you for my flat tire

2007-11-20T05:50:00.001-05:00

This week many of us will be hoping to make memories of family time and abundance, of gratitude, warmth and caring. In my family we go around the Thanksgiving table and ask what each person is thankful for, and get answers like "my family," "my friends," "our dog," etc. But what if we had a flat tire or our washing machine went out? Are we supposed to be thankful for that too?

If I have a flat tire it means that I have a car, something not everybody has, and if I managed to stop without wrecking the car or being injured, that's a good thing. Or if my family is driving me out of my ever-loving mind over the holiday weekend it means that I have family connections, something many people only wish for.

I talked to somebody a few days ago who told me that they have had a really rotten year. Lots of things in their life went wrong, all in the kind of concentrated clump of time that can make it feel like the walls are crumbling. For what could they feel grateful? That they got a bunch of bad stuff out of the way at one time and probably got it over with for now?

When things aren't going right sometimes it helps to look for a larger purpose in the bad circumstances. It's good to ask what there is to learn in those sorts of situations, but I don't think there's always IS a "big lesson" hidden in them. Sometimes stuff just happens.

But there is always something to be grateful for: family, friends, an end to suffering, an opportunity for suffering that helps us see the beauty of life more acutely, gold and russet leaves on the trees, a fresh smell in the wind. It might not be in front of your face in bold letters. You might have to look for it. But it's there, waiting to be acknowledged.

If you believe in the law of attraction you know that the things you focus on tend to grow. When you see more you see more. My wish for you is that you'll notice the abundance that you've been given. Happy Thanksgiving!

How do you know you can't?

2007-11-19T05:38:00.000-05:00

What are the things that you’re not doing because you don’t think you’re any good at them? How do you know that you’re not? What or who has told you that you can’t? How do they know?

If for just five minutes you could suspend your disbelief and assume that anything is possible for you, what would you choose to do?

Write a book?
Make a speech?
Cook a perfect soufflé?
Run for public office?
Start a business?
Invent something?
Ski a black diamond run successfully?

Are you drawing conclusions about your limitations based upon data? If you’re using data to make your decision not to venture forward, just how accurate and/or how old and/or how extensive and/or how conclusive is it? Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before he was able to make an incandescent light bulb. How is your situation different from his?

Have you decided that you can’t based upon assumptions and opinions? Whose assumptions and opinions are they? Has someone labeled you “the disorganized one” or “the klutz” or “the dreamer” so long ago that you no longer test the boundaries?

You’ve probably heard of Roger Bannister, who broke the 4-minute mile in 1954. There was a generally held belief at the time that it was impossible to run the mile faster, but Bannister himself debunked that thought as the creation of sportswriters trying to generate hype for his sport.
There’s a concept in bodybuilding where lifters gain muscle mass by tricking their bodies. They work in a certain weight range, and then all of a sudden do a set using a noticeably heavier weight. Their body has become conditioned to the prior workout (no matter what its intensity) and has lost its ability to grow further until it’s tested by this method. The muscle doesn’t grow first – growth is the result of the extra load.

You won’t always feel prepared for the challenges that face you. But like the weightlifter’s muscles you need the challenge in order to grow. How do you know that you can’t write a book or make a speech? Why let someone else or your own fears decide that you’re not good enough, fast enough, creative enough? Like the bodybuilder tricks his muscles, trick your mind. Do it first, whatever it is, and let your success do the convincing for you.

Aristotle said, “The more thou dost advance, the more thy feet pitfalls will meet. The Path that leadeth on is lighted by one fire- the light of daring burning in the heart. The more one dares, the more he shall obtain. The more he fears, the more that light shall pale - and that alone can guide.”

Book recommendation - The Biology of Belief

2007-11-16T05:09:00.000-05:00

I have always been fascinated by topics related to what makes people tick. I heard Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D. on a radio interview the other day, and the concepts he discussed were so intriguing to me that I ran right out and bought his book, The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles. I haven't even finished it yet and I'm already suggesting you check it out so we can talk about it.

Part of what I found so interesting about this book is that it comes from a scientific viewpoint; Bruce Liption is a cellular biologist. So the concepts have a foundation in his research into the tiniest components of our bodies. Just a few of Dr. Lipton's concepts that caught my eye:

We're not just about our genes. They are blueprints, but just like architects do we can alter our body beyond the blueprint through things like nutrition and stress.
Our cells are like miniature humans, and our body like a community. And just like we do cells communicate with one another.
The nucleus of the cell that contains genetic material is not the "brain" of the cell - a cell can survive quite a while without its nucleus. The brain of the cell is its skin, the cell membrane, which is the part of the cell that communicates with the outside world.

I don't know about you, but I can get really motivated listening to someone speak or reading on an inspiring topic. But reading this information is different. It's not drawing on my emotions to make the case - it's grounded in physiological evidence in order to prove some things I have believed for a long time.

Who deserves your attention today?

2007-11-15T05:10:00.000-05:00

If' you're like many leaders you manage by exception - you look at reports and notice the numbers that are out of line, or you notice behavior that's not up to par. How often do you invest your time in the people who are the up-and-comers, or in the steady performers who chug along in the background just doing their jobs every day without fanfare?

We do a little exercise with groups on occasion that involves drawing a small dot on a blank flipchart and then ask them what they see. Almost without exception they tell us that they see a red dot, and they often don't even acknowledge that they see an almost blank piece of paper. The exercise is symbolic of how they see their environment.

It's tempting to continue on the exception path, because it's most easily noticeable. But when you're looking only for the flaws, what kind of environment are you creating? What kind of relationships will you have with the people who report to you when they know there must be something wrong when they see you coming?

Almost anybody can remember the feeling of being called to the principal's office. It's sort of like when you're driving down the highway and you know that you've got your car set on cruise right at the speed limit, yet when you see a patrol car approaching your foot is magnetically drawn to the brake. You assume that you must have violated some law - and then they pass you and pull the second car in front of you over to the side of the road. Whew! Dodged that one! The adrenaline is pumping and you're sweating slightly, and you didn't do anything wrong!

If you pay attention mostly to what's wrong, and especially if you get emotional about it, you run the risk of establishing a climate of fear. In a climate of fear people are more likely to hide bad news or edit what they say to avoid dealing the wrath of the boss. That means the boss doesn't have the real information he or she needs to do a good job of leading, so when a problem arises it's more likely to be a big one. A vicious cycle often ensues.

How about choosing to notice what's right today? Stop by at an employee's work station just to say hello and see how they're doing. Not to audit them, but to acknowledge solid performance. If you're known for being "the enforcer" they might have a bit of a puzzled look on their face because they're expecting to get in trouble, just like when you saw the cruiser with lights flashing.

Just for today, verbalize your genuine appreciation for a project well done, or for a situation adeptly handled. I am certain that if you do so you'll cause that person's face to light up and you'll want to do it again. Now don't fake it - that'll come through if you do, and it will cause the person to feel suspicious and seek to protect themselves just as if you had jacked them up.

You're responsible for creating the climate that generates peak performance. Pay attention (and do it out loud or in a note of appreciation) to the people who are doing well and results that are what you're looking for, and you'll see more of it in the future.

What is your destiny? - Part 2

2007-11-14T04:08:00.000-05:00

My dh is guest posting for me again today. Thanks Jimbo!

Joseph Medicine Crow and the Four Great Deeds

Yesterday I shared the story of how Chief Joseph Medicine Crow had been studying for a Ph.D. degree in anthropology when he enlisted to fight in World War Two. You see, he had been raised to be a warrior in the Crow tradition*. By simply following his destiny once he landed in combat in Europe, Joseph completed the Four Great Deeds required of any Crow warrior to be recognized by his elders as a Warrior Chief (see 11/13/07 article for enthralling details).

THE FOUR GREAT DEEDS ARE *:
- touch a living opponent
- take your living opponent’s weapon
- take his horse
- lead a successful war party

VALUING ACHIEVEMENT
When Joe returned home from the combat theatre tribal elders held a warrior’s celebration ceremony and when asked, he shared the details of his experiences in combat in Europe. His elders noted that Joseph had actually completed the Great Deeds and they honored him as warrior a chief of the Crow People*. Now age 94, he is still living today the last War Chief of the Crow People.

Sixty two years after postponing his doctoral studies, Joseph Medicine Crow received an Honorary Doctorate in Anthropology from the University of Southern California in 2003. Chief Joseph had been the first college graduate of the Crow Nation and in 1941 he had been pursuing what he believed was his destiny.

ASSESSING OPPORTUNITY
Grab a pen and paper to jot down your insights as you contemplate these questions for a moment:

- What do you believe is your destiny, deep within your heart?

- How are you fulfilling that destiny right now on the path you are on, that you’ve been on for some time now?

- What benefits could you receive from focusing passion and energy more wholeheartedly on that which you believe is your true calling, your true destiny?

- Who else would benefit from you pursuing your destiny more fully now? How would they benefit?

BUILD UPON STRENGTHS
Perhaps you feel you have been postponing your true calling to answer the dutiful responsibilities that you have been addressing these last few years or months.

- How is what you have accomplished so far fulfilling your true destiny or some portion of that destiny?

- What you have been doing has been building your strengths, capacity, and sharpening your talents even if you haven’t recognized that up until now?

- So with respect to fulfilling your destiny, how can you build on your life’s experiences, your talents and aptitudes tonight, tomorrow, or this Saturday?

Upon returning home from Europe, Joe learned that his program at USC had been closed down due to the war effort. He returned home, worked hard and raised a family.

Eventually, Chief Joseph Medicine Crow became the preeminent historian and keeper of the truths of the Crow People. The Crow Tribal Council appointed him their Tribal Historian and Anthropologist in 1948. Joseph has carried on the Crow tradition of elder storytelling by becoming a noted author of several books for adults and young people. Some would say that he is in essence far more than the doctoral anthropologist he sought to become; he has walked in both the pre-reservation world of the Plains Indians and the world of Global Strive of the white man.

- What do you want to do to ensure you are pursuing your calling, your true destiny?

- By when?

- What’s in your way, your barriers?

RALLY SUPPORTERS & RESOURCES
- What solutions can you imagine that will overcome these barriers or obstacles?

- Are there friends or family that you can and perhaps should open up to and share this passion/desire to assist you as a solution identifier or solver or as a nurturer to cheer you on toward you destiny?

- If you lead others, how can you utilize Chief Crow’s story and these questions to help your team members? Use resources like SummitHRD to help you, to help any one of them, or your entire team collectively and collaboratively improve each other.

Get started RIGHT NOW !

Jim Poland

Visit me at JimPoland.com

Let me know how you're pursuing your destiny JimPoland@JimPoland.com

* Sources for this article include: The actual words of Chief Joseph Medicine Crow, Ph.D. in The War documentary film by Ken Burns, The Custer Museum, Wikipedia, University of Southern California

What is your destiny ? - Part 1

2007-11-13T02:32:00.000-05:00

I am on the road again this week and my dh has provided me with a break by composing the following for our loyal readers.

IN HONOR OF ALL AMERICA’S VETERANS -
Joseph Medicine Crow and the Four Great Deeds

TO BECOME A CROW WARRIOR CHIEF YOU MUST COMPLETE THESE DEEDS *:
- touch a living opponent
- take your living opponent’s weapon
- take his horse
- lead a successful war party

Joseph Medicine Crow had been studying for a Ph.D. degree in anthropology when he enlisted to fight in the War. Joseph had been raised to be a warrior in the Crow tradition when Joe was young by his paternal grandfather, Great War Chief Medicine Crow, considered by the Crow Tribe “to be the bravest warrior of all time.” His other grandfather had been a scout for General Custer prior to Custer’s fateful clash with the Lakota and Cheyenne warriors at the Battle at Little Big Horn*.

The Crow People had been defending their lands for centuries against the Lakota and Cheyenne peoples. As a result, according to Joe his Crow People “were militaristic from way back” and “were so-called warlike.” The Crows had aligned themselves with the United States in the Great Plains War.

INSPIRATION
Utilizing the inspiration and skills imparted to him by his grandfather, Private Joseph Medicine Crow became a scout for the 103rd Infantry Division in Europe in 1944*. His was assigned to lead a seven man squad into an enemy occupied village in France near the Siegfried Line. He stealthily led his team into position within the village and then he slipped around behind the Germans. As he advanced on a gate he slammed helmet-to-helmet into a solitary German soldier. Both men were startled but Joseph used his rifle to butt his opponent’s rifle right out of his hands, Joe threw down his own rifle and lunged into mortal hand-to-hand combat. Medicine Crow got the upper hand when he grabbed the German by the throat, choking him. At that point, Joe says the final words that leaped from his opponent’s mouth were “Mama . . . mama . . .” The Private released his grip and the German soldier dashed away with his life. Joseph’s team took control of the village*.

INITIATIVE
Soon thereafter, the Army Scout identified a few German S.S. troops on horseback and tracked them to a farm their battalion was occupying. When his commanding officer set an attack plan in place for early the next morning, the scout offered up his own diversionary tactic to his C.O. Joe wanted to sneak in and stampede the horses to distract the German perimeter outlooks to give an edge to his unit’s attack*.

ENJOYING SUCCESSES
Just imagine the image to those German sentries as the stampede unfolded and they saw Joseph Medicine Crow riding in the midst of those horses and singing a Crow “Praise Song” as he admired the beauty of the pony he had selected to gallop away upon*. There was that grandson that had been taught to use a Crow “half-hitch knot rope bridle”, take command of any horse. and race that horse securely bareback.

VALUING ACHIEVEMENT
When Joe returned home the elders held a warrior’s celebration ceremony and when asked, he shared the details of his experiences in combat in Europe. The elders noted that he had completed the Four Great Deeds required of any Crow warrior to become a chief of the Crow People*. So, there is stilling living today the last War Chief of the Crow People, age 94.

Joseph Medicine Crow received an Honorary Doctorate in Anthropology from the University of Southern California in 2003. That’s sixty two years after he postponed his doctoral studies as the first college graduate of the Crow Nation to fulfill what he believed was his destiny.

What is your destiny?

Stop back tomorrow to further consider this challenge . . .

. . . Take a moment now to visit http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/ to take action to honor those who serve so that others may be safe.

. . . Put your boots into action by visiting the volunteer opportunities at Walter Reed Army Hospital at http://www.wramc.amedd.army.mil/support/Pages/default.aspx

. . . Help the children, spouse, parents of a healing soldier right now by contributing to the Army Emergency Relief by calling #(202) 782-8024

. . . Still talking and not stepping forward? Check out how simple it is by clicking here for guidance - - http://www.walterreed.amedd.army.mil/garrison/avc/Documents/Donation_Application.doc

. . . Here is a top knotch site to help you support those who are protecting your children, your home, your parents - - http://www.armedforcesfoundation.org/Home.aspx

Perhaps personally supporting our Armed Forces personnel and their dependents is your destiny, today?

Jim Poland
Visit me at JimPoland.com
jimpoland@jimpoland.com

* Sources for this article include: The actual words of Chief Joseph Medicine Crow, Ph.D. in The War documentary film by Ken Burns, The Custer Museum, Wikipedia, University of Southern California
.

The real value of this customer

2007-11-12T05:07:00.000-05:00

The TV ads and malls tell us that we're already in the throes of the holiday shopping season. I joke with people that I don't shop until after Thanksgiving because it's no fun unless you can elbow somebody out of the way! But the real deal is that I'm a nauseatingly polite customer, even when the lines are long, the store is sorely understaffed, or the cashier isn't saying anything more than a grunt and avoiding eye contact when ringing up my purchases.

I don't make a fuss. I don't complain. I just go away. I shop somewhere else after that.

Did you know that it costs 5 times more to attract a new customer than it does to keep one you've got? So that means if your company could simply maintain a stable of loyal customers it could reduce its marketing budget by as much as 80%!

What that apathetic cashier doesn't realize is the real value I have as a customer. This isn't the we-are-the-world-everyone-has-inherent-value-as-a-person discussion. I'm talking about value in cold hard cash, today and for my lifetime buying from their store. Think about this:

Start with your average satisfied customer's order size and multiply it by the number of orders an average customer makes per year. That equals your annual revenue opportunity per customer. If I shop once a month and spend $50 each visit that means in a year the store's revenue opportunity from me is $600. If an average customer buys for ten years, that means the lifetime value of my business is not $600, it's $6,000.

If I'm a loyal customer (not just a satisfied one,) I might shop once per week rather than once per month. In that scenario the business's annual revenue opportunity from me is $50 times 52 weeks, or $2,600, and my lifetime value goes up to $26,000. Whoa. Suddenly that cashier is seeming a bit more important, because his or her actions are placing a $26,000 customer on the line.

If I'm such a happy customer that I'd recommend the store to 10 people I could be bringing the business an aggregate customer lifetime value of $260,000! And that's just me. There are 10 people in line with me, each of whom could have the same impact - a total opportunity of $2.6 million dollars if the company chooses to offer products and a service experience that create customer loyalty.

The numbers get pretty big pretty fast. If you're not taking action on developing customer loyalty and one of your competitors is, they could be eating your lunch before you know what hit you.

I'll post more later on why satisfied customers take their business elsewhere, and how the picture changes if you can create loyal customers instead.

Life balance pop quiz

2007-11-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

Are you talking about life balance? Are you taking steps to make sure that your career doesn't run away with your life? Or are you too tired from your life to be completely effective at work? Let's take a pop quiz to see how you're doing right now. Grab a piece of paper and jot down the answers to the following questions:

What is the name of the most recent book you read?
What is the most recent class, seminar, or other brain expansion activity you attended?
When did you do your most recent favor for a friend?
When was the last time you went out to a social activity with friends and/or acquaintances?
When was your last physical exam?
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
How much have you saved for retirement in the past six months?
To what extent is your current job a good match for you?
How much time did you invest in "face time" with your kids or parents in the past week?
Rate the quality of your immediate family relationships from one to ten, 1 being awful and 10 being outstanding.
When was the last time you prayed or engaged in other spiritual activities?
What was the most recent thing you did to contribute to the well-being of your community?

If you answered all of the questions you were able to do a spot check of all six segments of the life wheel - mental, social, physical, career/financial, family, and ethics and beliefs. How did you do? Is your wheel round and balanced, or is it lopsided?

There are no absolutes in achieving the "optimal" life balance. Life stages, personalities, crisis situations and other factors influence the balance you show, even in the quick pop quiz. The key is that whatever life balance you have should be the one you choose and not merely the result of momentum. If focus in one segment requires sacrifice in another be sure that it's a sacrifice you're willing to make.

Why people don't choose public leadership

2007-11-07T05:25:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to all candidates from yesterday's election - even to the ones who didn't win the offices for which they were running. It takes fortitude to run for office. So much so that in my area there were a number of positions that were uncontested and one office in my township for which no candidates were running - an unexpired term that garnered only write-in candidates.

Representation by the people is the cornerstone of democracy, yet it's often hard to recruit people to run. I've been doing some thinking about why so many shrink from the idea of public servanthood.

In some respects the campaign and election process is like high school all over again where you get to relive your feelings of popularity vs. unpopularity. Unlike high school you get to find out in full data terms just who backs you and who doesn't.
Packaging is important. You have to look credible in order to get votes, simple as that. The bigger the office, the more important the haircut (I'm only partly kidding - just ask John Edwards!) Sometimes it means you have to go out as "the suit" and sometimes it means you show up more casually as "the one who listens." And you have to know what situation calls for what package.
You need to know what you're about, not just what you think your opponent or predecessors have been doing wrong. This is a tough one, because some of these questions aren't on the daily radar screen unless you make a conscious decision to develop them. Another reason why this is tough is that you'll have to make choices along the way whether you will adapt your views to new information and be called a waffler, or whether you'll stick to a consistent message and risk being branded as stubborn or a slow learner.
You need to be able to communicate effectively with individuals and groups. You can engage them in several ways - inform them, get them emotionally riled up, or listen to them. Even if you're naturally introverted you need to find a way to bring yourself forward and choose to engage.
You have an incredibly busy life - the schedule, especially during the campaign process, is grueling. Breakfasts, lunches, after work events, dinners, etc. are your opportunities to see and be seen, to hear and be heard, so you want to attend as many of them as is possible.
Money is almost as important as your platform, because it's the method by which you create visibility for your campaign in the form of signs, mailers, advertisements, etc. A good team of managers or community backers can help you in this regard, but as in other pieces of the process of getting elected, too much of a good thing can create a risk. If you have too much financial support from one or two concentrated areas you could have a perceived (or real) setup for political favors. Some would say that this is the foundation for much of the corruption that exists in government.
You're under the microscope. If you've got a brother who drinks too much or you had some past business disasters, count on the fact that somebody with an axe to grind will work to dig it up and hold it up for public scrutiny. This doesn't mean you need to be a perfect person with a perfect track record to run for office - how many of us can truly meet that standard? What it does mean, though, is that you need to have a thick skin, you have to be prepared for these things to come out, and you need to know how you'll respond to them.

As I'm writing all of this I'm thinking, "Wow, why WOULD anyone choose to run for office?" I think in some cases the notoriety of it all pulls certain personalities toward it. Some people like to be known by everybody. But in most cases I do think that candidates genuinely are concerned about the state of their communities and want to help things be better. Their perspectives on how to get there might be completely opposite from one another, but that doesn't negate the positive intention. They are strong enough in their belief that they are willing to deal with all of the junk listed above (and some other that I didn't enumerate) in order to serve.

Now for the next challenge for our local guys and gals - the actual governing. Campaigning to become the next whatever is not the same thing as being that whatever effectively. The talking is over - the doing is the true test of leadership, governmental or otherwise.

Open minds and pumpkin carving - a parable

2007-11-06T05:16:00.000-05:00

This is a somewhat silly story about keeping your mind open, but it has application to more important things than Halloween pumpkins.

Like many families with kids at home, our crew has an annual tradition of carving jack o' lanterns for Halloween. By the big night we usually have 3 or 4 of them on our porch, lit with candles to give just the right amount of spooky glow for the trick-or-treaters.

It's always our intention to give each of the girls full sway on the design of one of the pumpkins and then Mom carves one of her own just to keep in practice. Over the years we've learned that too-small pumpkins are harder to cut, and certain varieties have stringier meat, making them harder to clean. We look for smooth, unblemished orange skin, and my big girl in particular selects for a good stem on the top. We've got it down pat.

This year when we went to the local produce stand our 4-year-old was attracted to a flat, HEAVY green model that stuck out like a sore thumb among the ocean of orange pumpkins. "I don't know," I said to her. I wasn't sure how it would work, experienced pumpkin carver that I am. It was flat, really dense and deeply ridged. After some encouragement from the dad of the house (it didn't take too much - I'm not THAT resistant!) we lugged it to our wagon and bought it.

The 4-year-old's short orange pumpkin was designed by her and cut by her mom, mainly because once the guts were out of it she was ready for instant jack o' lantern and had little patience for the miniature saws we use. The 11-year-old created a Spongebob pumpkin (see the top of the post) on which she experimented with shaving rather than cutting the surface, so old Squarepants would glow without the candle being visible.

Now it was my turn to go at the big green monstrosity. I worked first on two triangular eyes. It was a sonofagun to cut, with crispy meat that went about three inches deep! And then I looked at that lumpy green pumpkin and realized - this was no ordinary Jack - this was the snout of a hippopotamus!

So I worked next on the tusky, wide mouth. Once that was done it started to look like the hippo it had hidden inside. Next we drilled little round eyeballs with the vegetable peeler (Spongebob was already done.) And last we stuck toothpicks into a couple of leftover chunks, rounded the corners and stuck them in for ears. Ta da!

The parents and kids loved the pumpkin on Halloween, and I must admit it is my favorite pumpkin that I ever carved, even better than the year we picked Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper from Blues Clues or the time we did one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

How much less fun we would have had if I had refused to buy that unique load of a pumpkin! Its inner hippo might never have revealed itself! The very qualities that made me hesitate to buy it were the very characteristics that made it unique and memorable. And how boring he (it just seemed to be a "he") would have been had I just gone ahead with the traditional eyes, nose and mouth without really looking him in the face and trying to figure out what he wanted to be. Hmm...

Get yourself out and vote!

2007-11-05T05:17:00.000-05:00

Remember the activist's catchphrase "Think globally - act locally?" Well, your opportunity to act locally is knocking on your door. Tuesday, November 6 is Election Day, and a lot of the future decisions to be made about and within your local community will be determined by the choices you and your neighbors make about county commissioners, city councilmen, judges, etc.

In my own hometown this election should be rather interesting. Two situations in particular have my attention:

The race for county commissioner is made more contentious this year because two of the three incumbents were tossed out at the primary. This happened not because of lack of performance overall, but rather because of their stands on one issue - eminent domain. The result of the primary was compounded (and perhaps the true intent of the people distorted) by low voter turnout. It appears that folks who cared strongly about this one issue rallied and voted while people not energized by this one issue sat the primaries out. Now a group of concerned citizens are waging a write-in campaign to try to keep these two incumbents in office.
A number of judicial positions are up for yes-no retention votes. Again, certain groups are trying to turn this into a one-issue vote because they're angry that the judges took a pay raise. They're not accounting for overall judicial performance, nor are they considering the negative impact that a judicial overhaul will make on the legal system locally. As I understand it the emptied positions would have to be refilled by an appointment process, thus logjamming the judicial system and politicizing the offices.

I'm not quite sure why more people don't participate in the process of democracy, but I do have a few hypotheses:

They don't really believe that their vote makes a difference. They figure that they and their spouse or a friend "cancel one another out," and so it doesn't matter whether they show up.
They have become cynical at the lack of performance accountability in the political process so they've thrown up their hands.
They don't know enough about the issues and/or the candidates to make an informed choice so they stay home. This despite the fact that information is in the news every day, and especially close to election time.

I've been known to be a bit partisan from time to time, because I think

That my party and its philosophies been underrepresented in the public discourse in my community and I'd like to balance the conversation so people realize that they do really have a choice.
That some people vote on single issues because they think it simplifies the decision process. It's just not that simple to evaluate a candidate's overall suitability and do it well, so I've brought up the subject, albeit in as neutral a way as I can with others' knowing how strong my views are on certain topics. Are there deal-breakers? Sure. But I'm not even close to being convinced that local voters are reaching beyond the tips of their noses for the information they need to make a good decision - and by "good" I'm not talking about agreeing with mine (although that would be even better!)

Would you be one of the first people to complain if you didn't have a say in your government? Will you be affected if a yahoo messes up your local budget and jacks up your taxes? Will your community be impacted by government choices on development, conservation, etc.? If you answered yes to any of the above questions get yourself out to the polls on November 6. Your vote could be the difference.

Leadership and belief

2007-11-02T05:39:00.000-04:00

What sustains you as a leader when the going gets really tough? It’s the power of your belief. The concept of belief takes many forms, and I’d like to talk about just a few of them today.

Belief in yourself
It makes a huge difference in your performance when you truly believe that you’re capable and you’re worth it. When you have confidence in yourself you’re more willing to take some chances, to do something new to get results. It’s not necessary to brag about all of your achievements to believe in yourself. But it is helpful to document past victories so on a day when progress feels elusive if not downright impossible you can remind yourself that you can, indeed, do it (whatever it is.)

If this is an area of challenge for you, here are some ideas:

start with small, short-term measurable goals to lay a groundwork of success
make a list of the positive qualities that contribute to your effectiveness
get going on a program of positive self-talk to reinforce what’s right with you

Belief in your mission
If your purpose is clear and compelling you’ll be less likely to vacillate when things aren’t going your way. Think about what makes your mission important – the rewards of accomplishing what you set out to do and/or the consequences if you don’t. If what you’re doing doesn’t make a whit of difference it’s probably a waste of energy and time.

Sometimes you won’t know right off the bat just how big your intention is. Sit down and think about it and then communicate it, because your team can help you best when they understand and believe as well as you do.

Belief in your team
If all of the members of your team were just like you there would be no need for a team. When they’re well trained and highly motivated let them loose, get out of the way, and allow them to show you what they can do. If they need more development to get to the point where you can have full confidence, give them the opportunity to learn. Then hold them accountable. You’re not demonstrating belief when you repeatedly rescue them, nor do you show them you believe in them if you never let go of the steering wheel.

Common denominator leadership skills

2007-11-01T05:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I posted about the leadership mindset – attitudes or habits of thought that drive your behavior. Attitudes serve as a multiplier – they determine whether you have the gumption or the motivation to use the skills you have, whether they relate to leadership or something else entirely.

Regardless of where you come out on your preference for leadership style, there’s a pool of skills that really are the common denominators for effectiveness in influencing other people.

Listening –
This skill is more than just standing still long enough to let another person’s words wash over you without interrupting them (and I realize that even that isn’t a foregone conclusion!) Real listening involves hearing the message behind the message, the feeling as well as the content that’s being expressed.

The timing of listening can also be very important in your ability to lead. If you gather input from stakeholders ahead of time your decision is more likely to be a) better, because you have more data, and b) received positively. Early listening isn’t a sign that you’re too soft – it’s strategic in that it can also prevent you from going too far down a path that generates so much resistance that it’s hard to sustain your direction. Listening helps you develop context and timing.

Empathy –
The extent to which you are able to project yourself into the other person’s shoes is the extent to which you will be able to relate to them. I think about the years that I was a single working woman among working mothers and not really able to relate to the level of stress they were experiencing juggling their everyday wife and mom chores with their commitment to their careers. Once I was in their same boat their concerns came front and center for me, and I realized how much of the picture I had been missing.

With empathy often your attempting to understand is as important as you actually understanding. Ask questions and find out what the other person’s concerns are. Empathy is not the same as sympathy. You don’t need to agree with their point of view – that’s sympathy. But when you ask and genuinely listen you’re acknowledging their importance as a person, and that not only helps your relationship with them. It also informs and improves your decision making.

Notice that both of the skills above are “other” focused. Yes, leadership of self comes first, but ultimately if you’re going to be a leader other people will need to want to follow you. Followers want to know that you’re looking out for their interests.

Oral and Written Communication Skills –
At some point you’ll need to express your purpose, your direction, your goals, etc. to help people get on board with you as a leader. This topic alone could generate a month or more of its own posts. But in general,
Simple is best, and in particular oral communication is most effective when the message is uncluttered with a lot of extraneous stuff. Ears can only hear one thing at a time, and your fifty-dollar words will only impress you.
Repetition of the message helps to make it memorable. You won’t necessarily have professional speechwriters helping you craft high-impact phrases like “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” You’ve been thinking, but your employees might not have your issue or idea on their radar screens before now. If you think you’re over-communicating you’re probably doing it right.
Use both methods appropriately. If you want your message to sound negotiable communicate it orally. If you want more permanence you might want to go with written. If you want everybody to get the same message (they won’t anyway because of their varying interpretations due to attitudes) your best shot is to communicate orally to the whole group at one time, and then back it up with written.

Be aware of your proportion of listening activities vs. sending activities. If you’re telling, telling, telling and not gathering data and seeking to understand it you might be leading alright – but you might be leading a long hike off of a short pier.

The leadership mindset

2007-10-31T04:49:00.000-04:00

How do you acquire the mindset of a leader? For some leadership emerges as they go through their days – they’re doing their own thing and suddenly they realize that other people are looking to them for direction or inspiration. Others make a conscious decision to acquire leadership traits, perhaps out of an overall desire to achieve, or perhaps because they’ve identified a goal for which leadership is a prerequisite.

Self-leadership comes first
It’s hard to lead other people when you have a difficult time summoning the energy to get yourself out of bed in the morning. Self-leadership is about attitude, purpose and consistent follow-through.

Attitudes are habits of thought, and the majority of the ones we have, if unmanaged, are negative or limiting in some way. Here’s why: depending upon who you read, it’s estimated that up to 95% of our deeply held attitudes have been in there since before we started kindergarten. We acquired them through conditioning, the repetition of certain messages from our parents:

Don’t go where you’re not wanted
Don’t stick your neck out
Another day another dollar fifty
Don’t talk to strangers

You get the idea.

The good news about conditioning is that you can use it to dilute even detrimental habits of thought with chosen ones that support your goals. If you want to re-condition your attitudes to be more consistent with effective leadership as you define it, first identify the attitudes you want and then repeat them to yourself on a regular basis. Over time the intentional message becomes a new habit of thought.

Knowing what you stand for
Purpose is the really big reason why you do what you do. Malcolm X said, “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.” Leadership doesn’t require that your purpose meet somebody else’s criteria for significance or validity. It only requires that you know what you’re about. The pursuit of fulfilling your purpose isn’t something that you have to enforce yourself into. You're real purpose calls you, luring you in with positive emotions and energy, inspiration and motivation.

Once you know your purpose you can make decisions consistent with it. If you know, for instance, that your purpose is to rescue unwanted pets you will be clear on your direction for action. You might donate to shelters or adopt rescue pets, or you might provide foster care. Once your purpose is clear the opportunities for action will appear in the foreground of your surroundings. You will notice more, so you will be able to do more.

Who chooses whom?
Leaders don’t choose their followers; rather, followers choose their leaders. The leadership mindset alone won’t get results or attract followers – it’s observable behavior that will do the job. Tomorrow the focus will be on leadership action.

Your image of a leader

2007-10-30T05:09:00.000-04:00

What picture do you see in your head when I say the word “leader?” Do you have an image of a person on a pedestal, speaking inspirationally while a crowd of onlookers are smiling and cheering? Or is your picture one of a solitary person fighting the oncoming wind, bent a bit against its force but persisting and moving continually forward? Do you imagine someone so authoritative that people scramble to do their bidding?

What are the characteristics you admire most in a leader? In your mind is an effective leader

Charismatic
Focused
Undeterred
Servant-like
Empathetic
Driven
Goal-focused
A good listener
Well-read?

Consider someone, a public or private figure that you admire as leader. What is it that causes you to admire them? Do you aspire to their same sort of leadership, and if so how many of their characteristics can you see in yourself already?

Sometimes when asked to lead I hear people respond, “Oh, I couldn’t do that, I’m too _____ (fill in the blank with the word of your choice.) When faced with an opportunity to grow and to influence the world in a positive way they shrink back because they see things inside themselves that they don’t like. Funny thing, I don’t see perfection written on the leadership characteristics list above. As a matter of fact, some of our most admired leaders have been only too human – they have had quirks that weren’t always positive, but they rose to the demands of their leadership role in spite of them.

Leadership isn’t about perfection. It isn’t about being charismatic, or decisive, or communicative, or any single characteristic or behavior. Leadership is about getting results, and there are many ways to skin that cat.

What if, instead of focusing on your shortcomings, you were to identify one or two things that you like about yourself and build your own version leadership off of them? In effect, imagine that you’re aiming a magnifying glass at those positive traits, making them bigger in proportion to your total self. What impact do you think you could have then?

You have the opportunity to create positive change in your immediate environment if you choose to lead. If not you, then who will do it? Will the other leaders have the exact same contribution to make? Do they have the same skills, the same temperament, the same purpose, and the same contacts?

Every one of the leadership traits listed above is developable. You can become the image of a leader that you admire. Consider the results that you want to impact in your life. Define in detail the leader you want to become in order to do it. Imagine yourself doing it already. Close your eyes and picture yourself successfully handling a tough situation as the leader you want to become. Say the words in your mind as though you’re actually there, and hear the other players respond positively to you.

Imagining alone won’t develop your leadership capabilities, but it’s a start. We’ll talk about more of the ingredients in the next few posts.

Feeling ferdutzt

2007-10-29T05:11:00.000-04:00

This morning I am feeling, as my mother used to say, ferdutzt. That's Pennsylvania Dutch (actually Deutch, or German) for bewildered and confused. This weekend we made the move to upgrade my computer to speed up my daily operating and to take advantage of the new Vista operating system. Here's why I'm a bit out of sorts:

I expect instant pudding, technologically speaking. I want to turn it on and get back to work. One of my programs didn't load correctly (probably operator error!) and so I'm computer trouble-shooting, a task for which I have a history of little patience.
I was so eager to get started that I tried to get completely ramped up last evening, despite the fact that my later efforts were in the vicinity of 10:00 at night, approximately two hours after the expiration of my brain for the day.
I REALLY only needed to access the Internet this morning, nothing more because I have an early client engagement, but despite that I tried to get absolutely everything up and running.

So as a result I have a sort of glaze over my eyes at the moment. Do you remember the old Dunkin Donuts commercial where the donut guy would climb out of bed like a zombie saying, "Time to make the donuts..." I'm sort of like that - "Have to get the new computer completely up to speed right away..." Lucky it's Halloween week - I won't appear out of step with all of the kids, spooked up for their annual treat holdup.

If you're looking for solutions or strategies for preventing that ferdutzt feeling, they won't be happening today. Maybe by tomorrow...

A positive choice for your radio - Oprah and friends on XM

2007-10-26T06:08:00.000-04:00

Often I post about how you can impact your attitudes by your choices of input. If you listen to the news 24/7 you're likely to hear repeated bad news. Over time the breadth of gossip, international incidents, and personal horror stories can start to perpetuate a feeling that the world isn't a great place to be living in - even before global warming! The bad stuff starts to sound normal as you get more and more used to hearing it.

But you don't have to stay there if you don't want to. I've been an XM satellite radio subscriber for almost two years now, and just a little while ago I discovered Oprah and friends on XM 156. I must admit that I'm not a big Oprah watcher on TV, but I have to tell you that listening to some of the shows on this channel are downright inspiring.

You can get health news, financial information, spiritual enlightenment, advice, inspirational stories, and more. And although the channel could be said to target women listeners I've heard a lot that would resonate with men as well.

Check out this link http://www2.oprah.com/xm/xm_landing.jhtml to find out more. Happy weekend!

Six ingredients for better preparation

2007-10-25T05:35:00.000-04:00

Are you the sort of person who likes to wing it and be spontaneous? Perhaps the uncertainty and necessary extra concentration involved in improvising makes the old adrenaline flow. Preparation, like leadership, is situational. Choosing to fly by the seat of one’s pants might be no big deal on a Saturday afternoon, but might create undue conflict during a big presentation. In order to make a sound decision about the optimal quantity of preparation you need to think about how important the result is to you and how big the risks are.

According to Wikipedia, methods of preparation include research, estimation, planning, resourcing, education and rehearsing.

Research: Where do you go to do your homework? Are you a reader who heads to Amazon or the local bookstore when you need to know something? Or do you talk to an authority on the matter? If you don’t “do the numbers” ahead of time you’ll create two forms of risk: first, you’ll be stressed out because of the uncertainty, and second, if you have to convince someone else to take action they might not find you persuasive.
Estimation: What can you project about the possible outcomes, knowing that you can’t possibly have all of the information to be accurate beforehand? How will different variables impact your results? I must admit that we commercial lenders would occasionally raise our eyebrows or even chuckle at the naivete (ahem - I mean realism) of financial projections, but the thought process was important nonetheless. Usually if the numbers were significantly off it was because some of the other ingredients for preparation were missing.
Planning: Lay it out on paper if it’s important to you. I post all of the time about goal planning, but the ingredients are: The goal in SMART format, rewards if you achieve it, consequences if you don’t, obstacles, brainstormed solutions, specific action steps, and progress evaluation dates. The more critical the goal, the farther ahead you want to plan to give yourself the optimal opportunity to create a sound one. Also, the more extensive the risks are, the more completely you want to think through obstacles and potential obstacles and get your game plan ready for each.
Resourcing: You might not be able to do this whole thing without the assistance of outside individuals or companies. Determine who will assist you and when. In some businesses resourcing is the competitive edge – creative sourcing can make a huge impact on the originality of the output and/or the management of costs.
Education: You or your staff might not be ready to go right now. If you want to become a physician you can’t just make the decision driving down the street and then walk into a hospital and start practicing without risking killing people. The educational requirements might not be written in stone from an outside source, but finding out is part of your research. And if you want people to behave differently you can’t expect change without giving them proven tools and effective models to follow.
Rehearsing: Give yourself an opportunity to do as many dry runs as you need to ensure that you’re likely to have a successful result. Visualization, when done in detail, can be an effective rehearsal method. Role plays and skill practices help to create the paths of effective behavior that help people perform well even when “the real thing” is causing butterflies.

Tactics for surviving the storming phase

2007-10-24T05:24:00.000-04:00

Your leadership team decided to make a major change in your company. The change was announced, and initially the reaction was favorable. Folks assumed that the announcement meant OTHER people were going to be impacted. Now suddenly they're realizing that their own world is going to change, and that it's not necessarily going to be easy. The proverbial substance is hitting the fan, with complaining, gossiping and finger pointing ruling the day. What's an effective leader to do?

Remember that storming is as natural as gravity. It's much like the process of mourning the loss of a loved one. Once the reality and the implications sink in the grief is the deepest. Then ultimately the person (or team) finds new ways to operate.
Stay the course. Just because someone is having an emotional reaction to your decision doesn't mean it wasn't the correct decision to make. Even if they didn't like the prior arrangement your employees viewed it as the devil they knew. If you don't put a stake in the ground the importance of making the decision will be placed into question.
Provide process and structure. Your people might not be able to turn on a dime and begin operating differently. The bigger the change, the more support you'll need to provide if you want to emerge from storming and into norming and performing effectively. Develop your staff in the direction you want them to go.
Listen. Just because people are mourning the old way doesn't mean that their points of view don't have validity. Make a point of hearing their concerns. Write them down so they can see that they have been heard. And if there are pieces you can implement without compromising your decision do so to demonstrate that you value their input.
Model the behavior you want to see. If you, who are responsible for the whole organization, aren't willing to adapt your behavior why should anyone else? You have an opportunity to lead by making yourself vulnerable. If you don't work on changing yourself count on storming to continue until you cave on your decision and succumb to cultural pressure. It simply won't happen without you.
Treat storming individuals with compassion. The very fact that they're storming means that they're emotionally involved. They care about what's going to happen. I'll take that over apathy and resignation any day of the week.
Reinforce the benefits of the decision you made. In the throes of storming it's sometimes hard to remember that Oz lies on the other side of the tornado. When the rewards are great enough even large rocks in the path can be viewed as an interesting climb rather than as roadblocks that end the journey. Continue to talk about your vision.

A few leaders I know have learned the hard way that storming can be made worse by taking short cuts in the first place. So in the interest of keeping storming at a more manageable level:

Make sure you have identified the rewards of doing this, and the consequences if you don't. You will wreak organizational havoc if you turn your staff's world upside down without considering your decision's potential impact first. Your assessment of impact will be incomplete if you don't consider internal as well as external factors.
Build a communication plan into your decision making process. Include opportunities for feedback and Q & A as people start to assimilate the meaning of the decision for them personally.
Ask for employee input before making the decision if you can. Strategically this is not always possible, but as an executive you're the tip of the iceberg. That means that there are a vast majority of daily issues about which you are unaware, so you might blithely decide to make a change that has not just ripples, but potential tsunamis attached to it. In addition, we all react better to decisions that are the result of our own ideas.
Share your vision. Paint a verbal picture that helps people understand what the company will look like, sound like, feel like once the change has been integrated. With context (it's good for us!) unpalatable food can taste a little bit better.

Storming phase is no fun for anybody. You might have a couple of people who think, "If this is the way it's going to be here I'm leaving." I've never seen this (someone choosing to quit) happen when leaders (and colleagues) didn't ultimately conclude that it was a good thing. It's part of the process of getting into better alignment in order to move forward.

Book Review - Leadership and Self-Deception

2007-10-23T05:56:00.000-04:00

Did you ever have one of those moments of realization when it becomes all too apparent that you're the source of the problem situation and not the victim? It's not fun, but it's probably one of the most important developmental steps a leader can take.

I'm reading Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute right now, and it's one of the things that make you go "hmmm..."

The premise of Leadership and Self-Deception is that when we find ourselves angry at someone it's often not a result of something they did (or didn't do) or who they are; it's usually a result of something we know we should have done but have chosen not to do as it relates to that person. We then go into a pattern of self-justification which creates a need for us to place blame on someone else.

Once we start self-justifying the other person is no longer a person in our eyes. We start blowing small behaviors (or omissions) they make into character flaws. The way we think about them transforms them into an object that's interfering with the fulfillment of our needs - and after all, our needs are the only ones that are important. We have, in the words of the book, gone "into the box" about that person. Unless we can emerge from the box and relate to that person without resisting what they need from us we will continue a cycle of blaming that will erode our relationship with them.

What compounds the issue is that when we are "in the box" about someone we behave in a way that elicits from them the very behavior that we don't want to see. They are, in effect, in collusion with us. Being in the box makes things worse.

The book uses a parable to communicate the concept. It's hard to ignore the idea that I might put my need to be on time ahead of someone else's need to feel completely prepared. Who said that my needs are more important than theirs? If I persist in that vein I'll start to create a picture in my mind about how I'm virtuous for being prompt, responsible, etc. while they're disorganized, lazy and/or irresponsible. I will have put myself "in the box" about them.

Leadership and Self-Deception is a quick read, but the mind shift it creates (if you're open to it) is potentially life-altering. Check it out by clicking the link in the second paragraph of this post.

Living in the world as it is

2007-10-22T05:26:00.000-04:00

I was listening to an interview with a Buddhist nun on the radio the other day when she said (I paraphrase because I was doing dishes at the time,) "What I'd love to see is people embracing life as it is, not as they think it should be."

I stopped what I was doing to consider this. Life as it is, not as I think it should be. What would it be like to release myself from the need to make judgments about what's going on around me? What would it be like to accept people with all of their quirks and foibles and just relate to them as they are? What would happen if a whole bunch of people did the same thing?

I'm going to continue to ponder this. Would I feel less stress? Would there be more peace? Would it change outcomes if I'm not concerned about "my way" versus someone else's? Would I be able to be more completely aware of what's happening, undistracted by my "shoulds"? Would my relationships improve?

I'd like to hear from you on this. What difference do you think it would make for you if you chose to embrace life as it is?